I have a beautiful, sweet, even tempered (but green!) five year old Palomino mare. She is the darling of the barn I board at. My problem is that I randomly get asked if I want somebody to "exercise" her. Short answer is No, I do not want anybody working with my horse. The reply is then, "Well she never gets out." That's when I start to get angry. I am at the barn before anybody else in the morning. She is worked a suitable number of days a week, she is coming along nicely in her training and enjoys days out in the pasture as well, weather permitting. Just because people don't see me working with her in the middle of the day does not mean she 'never gets out'. Has anybody else ever had this problem? Random people asking to ride your horse because they don't see you work them? Does anybody have any advice on how to deal with this? Should I put a "No, I'm not looking for an exercise rider at this time" note on her stall? I've had horses for many, many years and this is the first time I've had this sort of situation.
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I get it!! My horse is a 4 yr old mare who is extremely tempermental so not as sweet as yours by the sound of it..
However I work long hours and am often up very early and late night but I have trained and backed my horse using MR techniques and am rigid that she only recieves training in this way but lots of the girls at my yard are keen to 'hop on' and I have had a situation where my sharer came unstuck and a young 17yr old girl got on to see if she could get her moving... also a situation where she stopped and wouldnt move and they (the yard girls) were hooning plastic piping behind her to get her going. Now.. I am lucky in that Hatti my horse doesnt give a monkeys about that sort of thing and you could set a bomb off beside her and she wont go if she doesnt want to so you have to work her in a different way but people just dont get it! They think I'm a wimp for not riding through her bucks and using a stick. Sorry but I have responsibilites to my family and work and I have her mega horsey bills to pay so I can't take the risk and also it's plain stupid and doesnt make sense. I suggest if this comes up again you merely say from an insurance perspective it's just not safe. What if your horse had a moment and one of these people came off and broke their back. I always say 'I would never forgive myself if something happened when you were riding her and I'm not here'. that way no offense is caused.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has had this problem! Thanks for sharing your story with me. :) I think I'll do as you suggest and just tell this person politely that Luna is too green to have any others ride her, and safety is a concern. It sounds like Hatti and Luna are similar in the fact that if they don't want to go forward they won't. lol Right now my big goal is just to get her to trot with a rider. She goes great on the ground, then I get on and she suddenly 'forgets' the cues. I think it's just balance issues. But it's always good to chat with people who understand what you are going through. I wish you and Hatti happy and safe adventures. :)
I always find it extraordinary that the horse world seems to think that all horses are "up for grabs"!! I never see people going up to other people's (who they don't know) dogs and saying "Excuse me, can I take your dog out?" or "That's a cute - what the hell is it about horses?! :-)
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I was amazed when I first discovered that judges ride horses as part of their assessments in shows...I was stunned; I wouldn't let anyone near my boy unless I had assessed their riding style. Can you imagine how that would go down in a show ring? "No, I'm sorry judge, you can't ride my horse, I saw how you rode the other one and you were too heavy with your hands and too fond of the crop"
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It is your horse Kimba, if you don't want her ridden then end of discussion! What tickles me even more is that people couch their offer in terms of doing you a favour by riding your horse for you when in reality they should be honest and say "I want a horse to ride, can I ride yours?"
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Good luck Kimba and Becky, stand your ground politely but firmly! :-)
People do seem to think they always know better than you when it comes to your own horse.
I had a similar experience just last week, I was taking my filly out on a walk with my neighbor and one of her friends and the friend goes "it's so cool, next year when i'm back I can ride her" ... hum ... right... how about asking ME first ?
And just this afternoon, I take Dayka to the river to get her used to walking in the water and there's this couple with 2/3year old kids there. The father asks if the kid can pet her so obviously i agree, what's the harm... little did i know that "petting" meant picking up the kid and dropping him on her back. My 2 year old filly, who's never even had a saddle on...
I think most times people don't mean to be rude or offensive, they're either ignorant or just drawn to the horse and forget there's a human with that horse and that maybe they should be socially appropriate with them.
It IS pretty testing, i can't imagine how you guys do it having your horse boarded at a stable, it must be so annoying.
Becky, your solution is really good, i'd definitely use that, that's not harsh on people but it's firm and clear !
Good luck to all, at least we know we can come here on the forum to vent ;)
Kimba, and Vicci,, and everyone else who answered .. very smart answers!
I ride someone else's horses, have extra insurance for myself and the horses and am always careful, mindful and with safety first ... IT IS THEIR HORSE and I am the one to be careful with thier precious mate... I do LOVE the answer, I'm sorry, I didn't give you a copy of my schedule, and Insurance won't cover another rider." Children always ask, can I pat your horsey... and I say I'm sorry, no... horsey doesn't want to be patted... unless you are on the other side of the fence. It is tough though, people who are not horse people or even animal owners sometimes have NO CLUE.
Guess I'm lucky, no one wants to ride mine and I rent land so it's only mine!! Himself can buck to vertical, and Winter's just too good at tripping over herself. But I do understand your frustration, I would ask the yard owner (if it's not them asking) if they can have a quiet word with these people if you can't get through to them, or ask if you can put a polite notice up. If this doesn't get through I'm afraid in your position I would lose the plot, I have a very long fuse but if I blow look out the mouth goes into overdrive!!! Hope you find a resolution to this problem without this happening..
I'd have to go with the schedule comment and haven't you seen me ride yet today. And my insurance won't cover you to ride, but also add do you have custodial insurance to cover you riding other peoples horses?
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Nice to see you back Mel :-)
Exactly, I'm the same as Kimba I have extra insurance that covers me to ride other peoples horses and also I'd never invite myself to ride! The longer you're at a yard the more people will settle to the idea you want to keep yourself to yourself as far as trainings concerned. The guys at my yard don't really get involved anymore unless I ask 'what do you think about this or that'. There are many advantages to being in livery and that is when you're in a panic or an emergency happens there's always someone to check your horse or feed them and sometimes the consolation of friends is nice when you're going through a difficult patch with your horse. My yard is small and 7 owners or so and although they drive me nuts sometimes other times they bring me back down to earth!
Hi Becky, not seen you for a while, nice to see you :-)
Hi there,
I have my horse at home now but when I first got her she was at a local barn and because she is extremely beautiful and gregarious, everyone wanted to ride her. I took a lot of flak for not just keeping everyone off of her but I myself held back because she was just two at the time and while I would exercise her I did not feel comfortable putting weight on her at two. My opinion but my horse. She is now 3 1/2 and I just got her back from 90 days of training with a great trainer that I chose because of his care and concern for her well-being and his methods are very similar to MR. She is coming along nicely and I ride her at least every other night doing simple trails etc. and I'm giving her the fall and winter off from any intensive training. The problem I'm having is the folks from the barn keep in touch with us and are constantly bugging me to bring her to the barn so they can ride her and put her through her paces. I think they want to "test out" the training she has had. The owner of the barn even just showed up one night right before I was able to mount up to ride and grabbed the reins out of my hands and jumped on her... He pulled on her mouth so hard that her head went straight up and she got really agitated.. I kept yelling at him that she would respond to leg pressure better than pulling her head around but of course he just ignored me and said that she had the wrong bit (using at eggbutt snaffle) I finally grabbed the reins and asked him to please dismount. The minute I was on her she calmed down and was fine but I was in utter shock that someone would do this and I know I should have just shoved him off her but a part of me feels like I am a jerk for keeping her sequestered from these people. My plan is to spend the fall and winter practicing MR's techniques and next spring starting some reined cowhorse training but as selfish as this sounds, I just don't want anyone else riding her. Everyone has a damn opinion about how you should be training, feeding, riding etc. and I just want to do things the way I feel will benefit her the most. I pulled her from the barn for this exact reason but they seem to be following me! I just think folks should mind their beeswax unless abuse is in play. So long way to the point that I think you have every right to keep these people off your horse! LOL Alli
Red Etta, you wrote:"...bugging me to bring her to the barn so they can ride her and put her through her paces. I think they want to "test out" the training she has had."
I think you did right to keep her away. A horse is NOT a car to be, as you say, "put through her paces". Just amazing that some people can decide to just get on without even asking permission. On that note, I wonder how that man would have reacted if you indeed had jumped into his new car (if he has one) and taken it "for a spin" on the gravel roads...?
You know, it takes a lot to make my blood boil, yes I can be outspoken sometimes but I rarely get really angry, but I feel my outrage burning at Alli's story. How dare someone do that to your girl Alli!!! Please please do not consider yourself "a jerk" or any other deragotary comments about yourself; you are clearly thinking of your horses' welfare and happiness, you stick to your guns Alli and tell them to respect your right to not have anyone touch your horse if you don't want them to.
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Kicki I owe you a debt for calming me down and making me laugh :-) I love the idea of jumping into his flash car and giving it a test run!!!
That is not on, jumping on someone's horse without either being asked or asking, I would've done more than just ask him to get off! Vicci's right you're not being a jerk or anything else, your horse is your pride and joy they have no right to ask you to bring her over just so they can ride her!!! If you ask them for help it might be different, but from the sounds of it your doing just great on your own, flip em the bird!!