Jo
Start handling the foal as much as possible. If the mare does not object then she is accepting you as being safe around her foal. I agree I would not do Join up until the foal is weaned. If you separate them and try to do join up with the mare she will be constantly distracted and stressed hearing her foal calling for her.
After you start handling the foal I would put a halter on the foal to make it easier to handle as well as teach it to lead. My guess would be that after a short time you should be able to start touching and rubbing the mare ate the same time as the foal. If this occurs that would be a good time to put the halter on her. They do make safety halters that will break if it gets hung up.
Hope this is of some help

Cheers

Thanks Dennis will give things a go, we have been at the field today making a field shelter and they both kept coming over and when we stopped for lunch they came and joined us! will let you know how we get on
jo

Jo,

I agree with Dennis. Once haltered, you can practice her leading skills and move her hips and shoulders, all of which will lay a good foundation for her response to a bit, when you get that far. You can start the leading lessons with the foal as well (see From My Hands to Yours for how to make a Foal Handler)--have someone lead the mare and the foal with follow along easily. The more you can acclimate both to your touch in all body areas, the better off you will be. Be safe and good luck!

Hi Jo it is great that your mare is not aggressive when you touch the foal as this makes things so much easier and safer for you. She must also be pretty good to allow you to touch her as she is being fed as horses usually prefer to be left alone when feeding and usually it is best to adhere to this. However in your case if the only time she will let you touch her is while she is being fed then I would tend to stroke her a bit at that time and perhaps even introduce the halter again then. Your foal is old enough to have a foal halter on, be groomed rubbed and led around a bit. Haven't read Monty's advice re foals in "From my hands to yours" which I have just purchased but it does seem that the earlier we handle foals the better. I think Monty says foal imprinting should happen soon after their birth. Your mare will probably wish to come over to you while you are handling her foal and this may be another time for you to start rubbing and handling her too until she accepts the halter again. Good luck with it. It is an exciting time for you.

Hey Jo,
All of the above adivce is great! As was said your mare must be amazing to allow you to stroke her and her foal. Once this weaning is over you will probably not have any problems with either.
Foal imprinting is so important, learning Equas can benefit your young foal so much, unfortunately for me my young filly was taken from her Mom too early and has made the understanding of Equas difficult for her and for me in her training.
I was at a large farm last month and they had so many Moms and baby's, they all loved to be touched and rubbed, Moms were watching and wanted a little attention themselves, amazing ah.
Persevere and you will succeed with the join-up and what a pair you will have!
Ronda

Hi Jo, I was in the same boat with a 17yo unhandled (confirmed kicker/biter) rescue mare. When I got her she was 6m in foal. Fortunately we progressed very quickly as from necessity she had no other horses around her and came to look forward to my arrival. Still shy to catch but lead happily. I didnt touch her at first just let her absorb the changes and enjoy me being around. At 1 month off foaling we were able to move to an agistment property, and all was good. Started scratching her neck etc without halter (and even her bum) and she would follow me around and turn with just body language. Then the foal was born. The mare immediately became distrustful again, however allowed herself to be gently cornered and caught and lead to the barn and was ok with the foal constantly touching me on the way. However (mainly due to too many kids and wellwishers) it was a week b4 she relaxed enough to let me touch the foal. From that point on I just concentrated on the foal - a filly - and she handled beautifully. Eventually I became the nanny and the mare actually caught some sleep while I was down playing with baby, which was nice. The foal got herself in trouble one day and the mare actually herded her over to me to check things out. I had become their safe spot. Once I weaned the foal I then spent time again with the mare and she appreciated it and came on leaps and bounds once she didnt have to be protecting a baby anymore. Every situation is different, but I guess I'm trying to say don't worry too much about progressing with the mare until she no longer has a higher priority and can concentrate on learning with you. But if she's ok with you touching her baby, progress with him as much as you can while he's still little. It'll build her trust in you watching you with him too. Have fun :)

have managed to get a headcollar on the foal now so i have been putting it on then leaving him for a few hours to get the feel of it then removing it. that has been going fine he doesnt seem botherd by it and mare has no problem with me doing it. i decided today to put a lead rope on and try to get him to move a bit and get him to feel some pressure on his heacollar. that was going great he was doing very well moving off the pressure to face me and wasnt really too botherd by it, then his mum decided there was something really big and scary going to get her so she started to run around the field and of course Merlin followed with me holding the end of his rope, i didnt let go so he was still feeling the pressure but as he is quite strong i had no option but to run behind knowing that this in turn was making the mare worse!! eventually she slowed down a bit and he stopped giving me enough time to slowly and calmly unclip his rope and let him go, he didnt rush off and the mare had also settled a bit too. i then went and sat and let them calm down which they soon did and then kept coming back over to see me. i then went and stroked him around his head and ears and he was fine i touched and moved the headcollar and again he was fine so i left them both to it. what is the best thing to do if this happens again and the mare decides to be scared of the monsters? i had moved them into a smaller paddock which im glad i did as it ment she couldnt run far. its only natural for him to be scared and want to run away from monsters if his mum is but do i just try and hold him so im not making it worse by running with them or just go with it untill they settle??

jo x

Jo
Don't run with them. If you trip and fall you could be seriously hurt and that is not the result you want. Let go of the rope and stand quietly while mom gets the beans out of herself. The other thing that might help is to have someone assist you and the could control the mare.

I don't know if you have been able to put a halter on the mare but it would help in your training and handling lessons. Otherwise I am happy to hear that you are making progress with the foal as well as the mare.

Cheers

thanks Dennis i will do that i didnt let go as i thought it would teach him that he could get away by running but i understand the logic of letting mum settle down. i havent been able to get a headcollar on her yet because i dont want to make her not come to me at all perhaps im being too soft but im not sure how to get it on safetly and calmly as she has now got used to the way i did get it on her. i keep feeling i am totally out of my depth and i just want to do it right i will try again and see what happens. will keep you posted :-)

Jo
If you can touch and groom the mare start handling her head and face. Good rubs and holding your hand on her mouth and nose while talking to her. Once she gets use to this and struts to expect it tray putting on an imaginary halter so your hands and body are going through the movements. Then try the halter. Be slow and deliberate and I would not buckle it up the first couple of times, but just let her feel the halter on her head. When she accepts that then go ahead and buckle it up but don't put a lead rope on at first.
Taking baby steps with your mare will get you good results, since nothing is going to be a 'big deal' for her

Cheers