Monty Roberts Equus Online University | Monty's Horse Training Post: Separation Anxiety when left alone, not when leaving

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Monty Roberts is a renowned horse trainer known as the man who listens to horses and the original horse whisperer. Monty's horse training instructions are accepted worldwide.
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Monty says, “We hear that ‘actions speak louder than words,’ but generally we do not live by it too successfully.” Now Monty has taught thousands of people worldwide how to build trust in animals through our actions and body language.
Monty’s principles really amount to common sense and immense patience. He believes that children and horses have the same behavioral patterns. They are both naturally “flight” animals. "If you frighten them and resort to confrontation, you’ll lose their trust." ~ Monty
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Horse Behavior and Training

Separation Anxiety when left alone, not when leaving

By:

Pam

Date:

2020-Mar-13 at 01:15AM

My 9 year old mare has spent the last 7 years at a boarding facility that has had 12-17 horses and were all together like a herd. I have had her since she was 2 and trained her and she is amazing, a pleasure in all aspects and I have used most of Monty's training... she ALWAYS comes when I call her even on the back side of the 20 acre pasture. I have worked hard on her with riding alone, a lot and has never had a problem leaving the barn etc.. I recently moved her to a new place with one of the horses from the herd...it's just the two of them...she loses her mind when the other has to leave, loses her mind. When I take her out and leave the other one all is good! I have taken the other horse out for short periods of time and worked up to 10 minutes and it is horrible every time. And also, when I come to see her, she trots to the far back corner of the paddock.
I don't know what else to do. We are working on getting another horse.
I feel like I have ruined a beautiful horse, our connection is hurt, I feel terrible that she trots away from me rather than trotting to me like she has for 7 years! My heart is broken and I think hers is too...what can I do?

JoHewittVINTA 2020-Mar-16 at 11:06PM

Hi Pam. Welcome to the Uni. Your mare has lost her structured support group & her home. Little wonder she goes into overdrive when her sole remaining companion is taken away - & for all she knows, might not come back. Yes, your relationship with her has been affected & another horse may or may not help the situation. My suggestion would be to calm yourself. Perhaps your anticipation of this new horse home arrangement is upping your adrenaline - certainly your dismay at the reality of the situation is, so just take a few days to be calm, loving & supportive of your mare. Spend time grooming her in a location where the horses can see each other. Don't separate the two for a few days so they have time to settle in & come to appreciate that they are in a good place.
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Have you done Join up with her ever? If you haven't or it was years ago then start rebuilding your relationship with that. This move has upset the apple cart so I think you need to go back to square one & start again, even if it is only for a week or two, just to set up the restoration of your previously uncomplicated relationship. I'm sure, once she learns to believe in you again, all will be well. She's not a ruined horse, just a confused & frightened one. Hope this helps. Cheers, Jo.