Hi,
I am hoping someone can reassure me I'm going in the right direction, or point me in the right direction if I'm not!
I have a lovely intelligent 13 year old Exmoor mare who I've owned for 4 years. She was born on Exmoor, but on a stud rather than in a free living herd on the moor, but still spent the first 6 months or so of her life with little in the way of human contact. I know most of her history, and as far as I'm aware she's always been treated kindly, but possibly ruled the roost slightly in previous homes. When I first got her I did a lot of groundwork with her, establishing that it wasn't acceptable to run into me or plant and refuse to move.
Over the past year I feel that I've completely failed my lovely little pony, and I'm working hard to get back her trust. I came to realise in July last year that her saddle wasn't fitting properly, and I realise that I'd missed all the subtle signs she was giving me up to that point, and it took her trying to kick a helper in a riding for the disabled session for me to work out what was wrong :( She had gradually become very grumpy to be around, didn't want to be touched in various areas (mainly her neck and girth), and I put it all down to being hormonal and tried various supplements - how wrong was I! Anyway, as soon as I realised the saddle wasn't fitting I stopped riding her in it, gave her some time off, and did lots of long reining work and rode her in a bareback pad. She had the physio out and we spent a long time doing various stretches to work on the tightness she'd built up in her neck. Eventually 4 months on I managed to get a new saddle sorted. At this point I went completely back to basics, it took a while for her to be happy with me putting on the saddle, let alone stepping up to the mounting block. But we got there, and now another 4 months on she's doing fab with ridden work, doesn't bite once when I'm tacking her up and will let me get on and off happily and lead up to the mounting block.
We still however have a problem with her letting me touch the underside of her neck. She is 100% better than she was (I couldn't get near her neck before, and if anyone other than me walked up to her she'd try to take a chunk out of them), I had a real breakthrough the other day when I managed to do a fairly successful join up with her (join up's always been a bit challenging - most likely because of my shortcomings! She would always display all the signs, but then when I'd turn away and ask for follow up she would just stand there and not move an inch!), she did a lovely follow up, and I then spent about 10 - 15 minutes massaging her, eventually working to stroking all the way down her neck, and she almost fell asleep! Since this I've had mixed attempts, and I want to check I'm going about it in the right way. I'm starting by stroking her withers, and top of her neck, and gradually working down to the underneath of her neck. If she pins her ears and tries to bite/snakes her head at me (which she will do sometimes!) I'll keep my hand there (staying a safe distance away at her shoulder), until she relaxes and then I'll move it away as a reward. I then place my hand back again, and generally she'll then accept the stroke and relax into it. If at any point she gets aggressive again I'm just trying to stay calm and keep my hand there. This seems to be working, is this the best way to do it? I was planning on then moving on to doing the same with her with a surcingle on, and eventually with her saddle on. I use a dually with her, and initially tried schooling her with the dually by making her back up if she went to bite me, but this just seemed to get her more angry - it's as if she's saying "look, I'm anxious about this and think it's going to hurt, and now you're telling me off for that, and I'm just not having that!". I'm 100% sure she's not sore there anymore after having physio, and having times when she's quite happy for me to stroke her there. I just think it's anticipation of it hurting as for quite a long time it must have been sore, and she completely lost her trust in me as I didn't listen to her subtle cues, and eventually she had to shout at me to make herself heard!
Does anyone have any other suggestions or things I can do to work on this? Or does what I'm doing sound ok? My eventual aim is for her to accept me touching her anywhere, and more importantly, for her to accept other people approaching her and touching her happily.
I am so cross with myself for not listening to her telling me the saddle wasn't right, and just hope in time she'll trust me again. She's definitely a much happier person since I've been doing things the Monty way - it's amazing how far you can get when you start speaking their language!
Thanks for your help!
Hello Jessicamarybell and thank you for your honesty. We have all been there; trust me on that part. There are many ways to approach what you talk about with your mare and I can feel how hard your trying to figure this problem out. I think you have come a considerable distance already, but you don`t seem to be quite sure if this is the right direction.
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.I have always felt that the neck is the key to balance in a horse, and when it gets stiff the entire body movement is compromised which in turn can cause other soreness issues. A saddle, that does not fit properly, can reek havoc in many areas. Stretching and messaging all the moving parts of the horse would be my number one goal. This not only soothes, but also creates that special bond between yourself and your mare. That in turn brings about the CONNECTION that we all strive for. This is a win-win situation for both.
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.Some of the exercises that I would do would be asking her to stretch her neck, while standing still and facing forward, back to her hip and hold briefly. She could be enticed with a treat as a reward: on both sides. The whole idea of this would be to keep her feet planted so that she brings suppleness to the neck. The next exercise would be for you to put her head on your shoulder and take the weight of the head off of her neck and then message and comfort her. Go very slowly with this because this a whole different feeling for the horse. She will eventually fall in love with you all over again. Another exercise would be for you to manipulate the crest area while her head is in a lowered position: roll the crest from side to side.
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.Carolyn Resnick has a wonderful PLAN that she calls UBERSTRIECHEN EXERCISES that teaches the horse to give at the poll through manipulation of the halter which eventually brings the horse`s head to inches off of the ground while moving forward. Once a horse learns this movement in this frame, he seems to be stretched everywhere. You can expect a whole bunch of licking and chewing. She has a web site.
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.The other exercise that I would suggest would be disengagement of the rear-end. I believe that this would to supple her hips which should help the backing -up difficulties.
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.I would look at her [excuse the analogy] like a twisted-up newspaper, and you have to remove the wrinkles to read the stories. PAIN DOES THAT to people and horses but horses can withstand it longer.
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.I would look at helping her through this as a gateway to a new beginning and the possibility of that once in a life-time bond for you and your mare.
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.See what the folks have to say, and thanks for caring so much about your mare. Bud USA
Hi Jessica
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Lovely advice from Bud, it will help you a lot.
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Something from Monty's lessons that might help you too is on http://montyrobertsuniversity.com/training/2031188601 lesson GEORGIA'S PHOBIAS | Part 3, notice how Monty does accidental touching of an area that the horse is sensitive too.
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when we want to touch an area of a horse, they know our intent before our hand even reaches them, we'd glance at the area and even the movement from our shoulder would tell the horse that we are going to touch a certain part of their body. Along with what Bud had advised, also try what Monty does with Georgia's Phobias when dealing with head shyness. This can work with other areas of the body to. Once they realise there is no pain with the touch it will help with the rest of the massage.
Mel
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When I was reading your story Jessica I thought exactly like Mel, except Mel was quicker to reply :p
Congratulations on being more observant and I look forward to reading how this progresses!
Hi Jessica....I love Bud's analogy! "I would look at her like a twisted-up newspaper, and you have to remove the wrinkles to read the stories" - brilliant Bud!
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Don't be too hard on yourself Jessica; you've made the mistake, learnt the lesson, shared it with us so that we can all learn too - that's a wonderful journey you've been on - time to move on to your next journey. :-)Horses are so forgiving thank goodness!
Hi Jessica, If you are having trouble finding the contact that mentioned above regarding Carolyn Resnick; go to Uberstiechen exercises by Carolyn Resnick. They are performed by Stina at her farm. It`s about a 10 minute video. Thanks Bud
Hi Jessica, I have been using some of the exerises Bud mentionned with my horse for a while and you should definitely try them, especially the one twisting the crest from side to side, it's really easy to do and you can see your horse completely relax in a few seconds.
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You can also try the bladder meridian exercises (you can find videos showing & explaining it on youtube). It takes a while a first but it releases the tensions in the entire body of the horse and it will allow you to pinpoint the areas that might be more uncomfortable for your horse. I've been using it because my filly was starting to bite again when i touched her in certain places, and with that exercise I was able to concentrate my "work" with her on those spots.
Thank you all so much!! What lovely and helpful responses.
I will take a look at those exercises you suggested Bud and have a go, I'm sure they will help!
I don't think I've watched the Georgia's phobias videos yet either so will go look at those too.
I'm determined to sort this out, and know our relationship will be much better if I do!