i really need some advise! i have a 3 year old who hasnt had much training before i got her in april, and so a lot of handling issues came up, which i have been able to deal with with patience. however, i had to give her an important innoculation, but she fought me trying to give it to her and got quite aggressive, and it was quite stressful for both of us. i don't know how to make her understand that the pain from the needle is something that is necessary, and not just me trying to hurt her. since then, she has completely lost her faith in me, i haven't been able to join up, and she doesn't let me catch her easily, where as before she was so friendly and would follow me around. she isnt aggressive, and is easy to handle once caught, but i cannot bear the fact that the trust is gone now. please please help!
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Hi Sophie
You sound distressed and I do feel for you; but please take heart, "all is not lost" as they say :-) I suggest you look at Monty's despooking/desensitising methods before you try to do anything else to her that may cause her problems. In the meantime, can I suggest you carefully spend simple, quality time with her (but of course maintaining the boundaries of discipline and manners) and not try to ask too much too quickly. For example, if she is in the field, rather than trying to catch her just spend some time doing something else in the field and let her come and find you. When you do catch her just go for a walk with her or do something easy - she needs to know that you are still a safe place to be. I assume you will need to give her an injection again in the future and if she isn't desensitised to this before then she is likely to be worse next time (just a cautionary thought!) so I suggest working on that as a specific issue with some professional help if you don't feel able to follow the techniques Monty outlines yourself.
I know it seems awful at the moment but please be assured that horses are forgiving, and if you put this down to a mistake and a lesson learned and leave it at that, the trust will come back again. If you continue to fret and be anxious about it she will sense your anxiety when you are with her and then be reluctant to see you as a 'safe place'.
Good luck!
thanks so much for your response! i really needed to hear some kind words and that everything will be okay. i really appreciate it! thanks for your advise, i'm looking forward to restoring my relationship with her...x
You're most welcome Sophie, and I will be genuinely interested to hear how you get on, so keep us all posted! :-)