I'm trying to introduce quality time to the girls at the agistment centre where I am and am having a lot of difficulty getting them to listen. Has anyone else had this problem and how did you overcome (or did you) it? They look at us in the round yard or arena and comment on how amazing he works and how cute we are when he follows me around but don't think that they can get their horse to do it.
Any assistance/suggestions would be appreciated.
Hi Denea,
I'm not sure I understand what you mean by getting the girls to listen, they comment on your progress with your horse, but they don't know the method. One of the basics with Join-Up and of course the quality time that finishes the session, is that the horse has a choice.
It chooses to cooperate with you, because it finds out that being with you is a good place to be. You build up trust. Quality time gives the horse the time to settle after your session with him, gives it a complete freedom of choice. Here nothing is demanded and nothing has consequenses, of course as long as everybody is safe.
If any of the girls is interested in learning the language Equus, you can try to help them find their way. Should they not be interested in learning and just seek a quick "cute" succes, focus on your horse and let them be. You can't make people change....
Hope this helps,
Miriam
Hi Denea - ditto to Miriam. The best thing you can do is to continue to demonstrate to them your own relationship with your horse. Once they see your progress then some of them my start to ask you questions about what you are doing and then you can start to explain to them about Monty and his technigues. Unfortunately they will have to show some interest in learning and accepting Monty's methods themselves you cannot force them to do so!!
Hi ladies, I'm not looking to force them but although quite a number of the girls are familiar with join up and Monty's methods they have put it in the too hard basket and think that it's ok to work their horse, hose him off and put him away. It is very frustrating. Thanks for listening. Must have needed a rant :-)
It's fine to rant; we all needed a space to do that and this is a good place to get support! It is frustrating when people can't see, but each has their time, remember there was atime when we couldn't see either. Sorry for those who've heard me say it before; my dad had a saying "you can hold the mirror up but you can't make them look in it" just keep holding up the mirror and one day someone will be curious enough to look closer.
Go for the rant. Sometimes it's nice to vent, even if other's are listening.
I just started the university. I was so suprised when i could actually afford the course. I have been going through a pile of lessons and been trying to do the mounting block one. She did finally take a step for me. But I haven't been able to ride her in a while more than very short periods and only close by the barn. The trust is gone and she is definately in control most the time. I'm trying to find Equus for every day communication with her. She was born out in the front range in Colorado. I was able to get her away from the "old fashioned cowboy's" property before she was hurt. He was rough with her and he used to chase all the horses in with his pickup if i wasn't able to catch her. I need the dually halter, will be ordering that very soon. Searching the site for how to start over with her, open the lines of communication. Is there equus for going out and feeding her, or letting her know i'm learning her language?
Denea, I know what you mean by the "looks" and the odd comments.....A guy at the stable was looking at me all goofy like and wanted to know what in the heck was i doing with my horse. I watched the mounting block lessons and was trying to get that first step from Tokia. This guy already knows Tokia will do only what Tokia wants to do. (
Hi Karyn
There isnt an "equus for this task and equus for that task" Equus IS the language of communication for everything you do with your horse. However there are lots of videos and support on here for individual issues as you descrbe. If you use the search facility on the forum for various problems (feeding etc.) I'm sure you will find a thread that can help. Otherwise start a new one with something thats paricularly bothering you and I know there will be lots of support for you. :-) Best wishes, Vicci.
Thank you!
Every small kindness you show a horse goes a long way. Anything that proves that you are dependable proves you are trustworthy, and once proven trustworthy to a horse, then the magic begins... Being the one to feed her every day shows dependability. Being the one to turn her out to pasture every day shows the same. Just spending time with her with absolutely no agenda does amazing things too.
Hi Karyn,
It's frustrating when people just don't get it. Glad to see you are working through the lessons. I've found that the best one for building trust with any of my horses is the quality time at the end of any session we do. It shows that you trust them and aren't going to force them to do anything.