Hi all,
I don't know where to begin!!!!
.
This is the forum where we can write and ask questions about our horses etc.
Show our video's and discuss this.
.
So I don't know if I do the right thing now.
.
The last message I wrote you all was on the 1st of january, to wish you all a Happy New Year.
And I was happy and my husband and I were just back from a new years eve party.
.
One hour later my husband told me that he didn't love me anymore. And he told me a lot off very bad things about me.
The worst thing he sais that I ruined his life. I know him for 6 years now.
I didn't know what I heard and happened and was in pannic and in tears.
.
I know now, after two and a half weeks of being a detective, what realy happend.
He has somebody else. This all started when I was in Devon last October to see Monty and Kelly.
He still tells me it is not true.
I saw him a few times leaving and coming back with that lady... and I checked his mobile. What I red was very painfull for me, but I was sure about my intuition.My intuition is so sensitive so I know this. High Sensitive Person for the once who remember.
Well I went so mad and shouted at him that he is lying.
Foaks I am not crazy!!! But still he says it is not true.
.
The last two weeks I went to Renske and she felt my sadness and saw my tears.
I have still my lessons and Renske is very kind and good to me.
She gives me so much strengh and that keeps me also on track.
.
My tears are gone now and I have a fight position now to survive.
My world and life is upsite down and I have to leave the house and find an other place to start my life again.
.
Hope you all don't mind that I am writing this.
.
I liked it so much to be part of the forum and I learned a lot from you all.
I am not sure if I can be one of you in these coming months, because I have to do a lot.
.
I thought that I had my live on track, after a lot of other things what happend in my live.
But even if you think you have got things on track something happens what make your life to a hell.
.
I will try to keep in tough with you.
.
Again I hope you don't mind I am telling this.
.
I will keep going to Renske and talk to her and stroke her.
She gives me a lot of love and energy.
Everytime I thank her for this and we look each other in the eyes and we know where we are "talking" about.
.
Bye all,
hope talking to you soon.
May.
Oh May,
My heart goes out to you. Many years ago, over 36 years ago, my first husband did the same thing.
I moved on and eventually met my wonderful husband, Paul.
Time does not heal all but it helps to diminish the pain and betrayal we feel.
I think the hardest thing is the damange it does to our self-esteem. Keep close to what makes you feel whole, whatever that may be.
Horses are a proven healer for PTSD, which you will experience at some time.
Remember I am thinking of you and hope for the very best that you can be.
Please keep in touch with me. You can go to my youtube account and leave a message and I will get back to you by email.
The very best to you,
Ronda
May
Ronda has expressed my feelings as well. Do stay in touch with us. The UNI is not just about horses it is also about people. You have been a major contributor in helping people see another way to solve problems with their horses and so now we will be a supporting community to you as well. You can contact me via email at dmakemson@peruvianstallion.com
Stay strong and remember al the theories that Monty has taught you. Stay focus, stay calm, slow your breathing down and you will find a way to get through this very difficult time.
Best wishes and thank you
Dennis
My first husband of 13 years did the same. I was devastated, but I made it through, you will too, even though it doesnt seem like it. It took a lot of years and another so so marriage before I found Jim, and he is wonderful, we met at the right time, You will either find someone again, or find that you do better alone. Some do. Keep your head up, keep talking to your horse, and to all of us, and you will get through this. Dont give up, and keep in touch. We all care.
Oh, May!
.
My thoughts are with you. I can only agree with all those wonderful people that were writing beforehand.
.
It is very sad what happened to you, and I am glad I did never have to experience something (as I am only 19 years old).
.
But, you know, wounds heal, although scars will stay. It will take some time, sometimes even years, but you are doing the right things at the moment: Sharing your tears with people you like and who like you, spending lots of time with the animal you love the most (and Renske loves you, that's for sure!) and counting on your intuition.
.
If you have time and want to talk more personally, send an e-mail to renjaho@aol.com.
.
All of us care a lot about what is happening to every single one here in the forum. So of course, we do care about you! What Dennis says is really right: This forum is also about people! So, every time you want to and feel that it is the right thing to do, open your heart to all of us, talk about everything you want to. Mentally we are all with you, and hope you will feel better soon.
.
Love,
Jasmin from Hamburg, Germany
Lieve May,
Thank you for sharing this difficult moment with your friends at the forum!
I understand that you need to rearrange your life and your feelings, fortunately you have Renske, but don't forget that you're part of this community, our UNI!
Whenever you feel like it, let us know how you're doing, please.
We learned so much together, nobody can take that away from us...
I wish you strength and wisdom,
Miriam
Oh May - Ronda has my words "my heart goes out to you". I am so sad that you have had such an awful time as we have all grown fond of you over the last year. It is so unfair that it happened when you were away learning so much and having a happy time. Believe in yourself and stay strong as Dennis says. I know Renske will help you through this very tough time and we are all your friends too so keep in touch. I wish I was closer so that I could help you more but we are close on forum. Go and hug Renske whenever things are too much for you - she will understand. I wish she was yours.
May,
I am just so sorry to hear this. I don't know what to say that hasn't been said already - you know you have friends here and can seek support from us.
Horses are the best for broken hearts, so keep Renske close.
Wish you all the best!!!!!
Oh May!
I second the comments of all who have spoken! I have never been in your position personally so i can only imagine the hurt you are feeling :-( I did however grow up in these circumstances. My mum and dad separated when i was young and then mum had two different men after that do the same thing you have experienced. I saw the trauma it caused her and it took her many years to recover. She did not have the support you have though! You have all of us to unload on if you need and you have Renske! My mum did eventually find a wonderful man who is her perfect match. Give yourself time to grieve and remember we are ALL thinking of you :-)
Wishing you all the very best for your future
Janelle XX
Hi dear friends,
Thank you so much for all those kind words.
.
I didn't relise that I also gave my contribution to you, because I am a beginner.
.
It is so hartwarming, what you all wish and it makes me feel much better.
Even when you are far away from me.
.
I don't have any family at all, no children etc.
.
I life here in the east of Holland now for six years and I have a few friends around me who are helping me.
It is unbelievable but it feels like I am sitting in a warm bath.
.
Somebody told me the other day...; see it like this: "it is a very bad situation, but you are in a very positive situation, because you have friends who are helping you".
.
I am going to Renske this morning and have my lesson.
She is so kind to me and looks at me and knows!!
.
I will keep in tough with you and also you Ronda, Dennis and Jasmin, I will try to get in tough with you. Ronda I don't know how to do it, but I will find out.
.
I was nervous when I wrote this to you all, but now I understand that even this "news" make us think about our situations/experiences and our horses.
.
Try to tell you soon how I am doing and feeling.
.
Big hugs to all of you.
May.
Good morning May,
I am giving you my email address right now.
It is: arberservices@rogers.com. You write me anytime you feel like it.
I look after me email every day so I will get back to you as soon as possible, I promise, my little friend.
xoxoxo Ronda
PS; if anyone want to email me they can, you are my horse family!!!!
Hi, May. Here is my email, phantommustang1@yahoo.com. I also check my email every day, and will answer any emails, so if you want, or need,to talk, I , along with every other caring person, am here for you. We are one
That's what I love about horse people. They may be a little crazy, but they rally to help one another. There are not too many groups that do that so willingly.
Cheers
Hi friends,
I don't know what to say...
I am speechless.... so many kind people.
.
Hi Dennis I just send you a check e-mail to see if the address is alright.
.
Yes I will write to you all when I have the strengh.
This morning I was with Renske and we were walking outside in the fields. She was very excited and me a little bit afraid, because it was the first time I did a trot outside.
But it went all right and I was proud and forgot my sorrow for an hour.
.
Thank you all so much for your kindness.
It keeps me on my feet what we say here.
Here in Holland there are some friends now who know the situation and they are going to help me as well.
Even the neibourghs gave me the key from there house!!!
.
A friend of me told me yesterday, that she is always happy when she sees me and that I am always making jokes and are positive. I was a little bit shy about this. She said what you give you will get back. You are a person who is always helping people and now it is our turn to help you.
I was also speechless, because I don't feel it like this, it is a second nature to help.
But it feels very good and also you all who are so kind to give your e-mail adress.
You will hear from me.
.
Big hugs, May
I do also check my e-mails nearly everyday. May, please write whenever you feel it is the right thing to do. As phantommustang1 says, we are one, a group of "crazy but caring horse people", like Dennis says.
Love,
Jasmin
Hi May
I have just read your post and the beautiful responses you have received. I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I really don't know what else to say, except that my thoughts are with you.
Thinking of you
Gen
May,
We feel all with you.
Rudi
May,
So sorry for your heartache.
I went through the same thing two years ago, and the only thing I had left were my horses. I lived in a shed because I was homeless and felt like I wanted to disappear from the world. I still hide now except when I see my horses.
It was an honour to meet you last year at The Grange and I felt your strength, so use it May, and stay strong. It will get better, not soon, but in the future.
If you ever need to run away, you come to England and stay here with us, you are always welcome.
Sandie
May,
Just don't believe you can ruin anybody's life - your husband used a cheap excuse to do what he felt like doing. At the same time he can't ruin your life, either. I know it hurts now but it will pass.
All the best,
Ewa
Sending love and strength from Sweden!
Hi dear friends,
Thank you so much for your kind words.
.
It is true that nobody can ruin your live. But when I heard it I was realy out of balance.
.
He never told me that I was ruining something.
I know now I "ruined" his dreams, because he wanted to work less and then because of my money.
Well I don't have THE money so I don't know where his dream took him to.....
.
I had my crying day last friday and I was out of order.
I have got dear friends who are helping me and give there shoulder to cry on.
Still I don't know were to go, because it is very difficult to get a house so soon.
.
I will keep in touch with you if possible.
I am going to Renske this morning and have a ride with a ladyfriend in the woods.I know that makes me better, it's theraputic and Renske knows, she feels my tears.
.
Hi Sandie.... if I need to run away or the time is there that I want to come to my beloved England (second home), I will come and visit/stay (with) you.
.
Wish you all a nice weekend and speak to you soon.
Bye, May.
May
Whatever happens, you have Renske. Stay strong and try to enjoy your time with her. As you say, it is a kind of therapy, she will not judge or criticise you. Wishing you all the best.
Hi dear friends,
.
Just an other note from me.
.
In three day's time I will leave the house.
Everything is packed (and it was a lot) and we already moved it to a save place.
.
My ex-partner doesn't take any contact with me or is asking how I am doing. It feels like being a dustbinback putting outside and waiting for picking up.
Even he doesn't know what I am doing and how strong I am now with help of my friends (even from Canada and California).
.
I can stay at a friends place untill the wheater is better here and I can move to the caravan.
Haha... I was laughing the other day, because Ronda told me that a caravan is very easy to clean and I will have more time left for nice things. Well let me tell you... I am looking forward to that.
.
I don't know when you will here from me again, because I don't have a computer myself. Maybe I can use the one from my friend. We will see.
.
Little by little it is going better with me, but still it is very hard to understand what happened.
I am looking forward that all my stuff/furniture will be in a safe place and I can relax this weekend after six weeks of stress, tears and packing and carriing things around.
.
Well it is very good for my bodyweight hihi....and I will eat better again when I am with my friends.
.
Hope speaking to you soon.
Have a very nice sunny day,
Bye for now, May
May, I am not exactly sure what a caravan is, but I think its something like a small camp trailer. So should be easy to clean, and will give you time to spend with Rensky. Once it warms up, of course! If your ex is going to be that waqy, be glad for your friends, they will stand with you. Dont worry about him. My ex told me he was going to be rich with or without me, well, it has been over 20 years now, and he still isnt. He was under the impression my family was rich because I had a horse, but they werent. I think that was about the only reason he married me in the first place. We are both better off without that kind. So count your blessings, you have FRIENDS!
Hi May,
Please take good care of yourself, also of eating well!
It is important to eat all essential foodstuff, minerals and trace elements to regain your inner balance and start a new life on your own. I'm so glad you have good friends, but in the end you'll have to make the choices and do the mental work to leave the last six years behind you.
You are a brave woman, show yourself you're worth it to take good care of!
You are in my thoughts,
Miriam
Hi May,
Please take good care of yourself, also of eating well!
It is important to eat all essential foodstuff, minerals and trace elements to regain your inner balance and start a new life on your own. I'm so glad you have good friends, but in the end you'll have to make the choices and do the mental work to leave the last six years behind you.
You are a brave woman, show yourself you're worth it to take good care of!
You are in my thoughts,
Miriam
Hi May, It is wonderful to hear you are still laughing in spite of all you have been through! You are a joy to all of us and it is nice to still be seeing this in your posts. I like the comment about the caravan...very easy to clean! Leaves much more time for other fun things hey! Keep us posted on your progress hey :-)
Janelle
Hi May! I'm so sorry you are going through this, my prayers are with you. Don't worry, I didn't mind you writing this. It's ok to vent.
Hi May thanks so much for posting us with your up-date. It has been such a tough time for you Hopefully you are over the worst of it now and you can start to look forward to a brighter and happier future. If your ex is treating you like that then know that you are so much better off without him! So chin up and eat up! . Pamper yourself and congratulate yourself on getting all that packing done. Try to keep in touch as we need to know how you are going and to have all your interesting insights and commments - hopefully you will get access to a computer. Maybe a lab top for your caravan? All the very best from now on!
Hi May,
I'm so sorry I only just read your post as I haven't been on the forum for a while.
I am so sorry for you, it is a difficult time, but it is very obvious from the posts already here that you have lots of friends who care about you, and are wishing you all the best through this difficult time. You are such a giving, kind person and I know, with the help of Renske and your friends you will find the strength to move forward with your life, to a much better, happier life!
I'll be thinking of you and sending you best wishes whenever I am out with my horse Charlie.
Best of luck
Ruth
Hi dear friends,
I am back.
.
Everything went well, by getting out my stuff and my animals from the house.
.
I am staying now with friends and I am more relaxed.
The whole situation is nearly finished, I have to deal with a few things and then I can start my new life.
It will be very difficult, but I will survive.
It was very stressfull and there were a lot of tears and there is a lot of pain and unbelieve.
.
Thank you so much for all your support.
.
Hope you will hear me again very soon and will ask again questions and will crack your brains.
.
Have a nice day everyone.
May.
Hi May,
Good job, the first step is made!
Keep the good spirit up, know that we'll be here for you.
All the best,
Miriam
The pain and tears will pass, each day will get easier, believe it or not. You have the rest of your life to look foreward to, its an adventure waiting to happen. You can do it. Do something nice for yourself, and dont feel guilty about anything. You have nothing to feel guilty about. If you arent allergic, I have an idea. CHOCOLATE!!! Be your own Valentine.
TONIGHT it is chocolate night......
.
Yes, I will be my own Valantine..ha..
.
I walked with Raisa, my black labrador, around a lake and it was wonderfull weather. We enjoyed it and we had together a great time.
.
Bye, May
Happy Valentine's Day May! ♥ ♥ ♥
Hi May,
.
it is wonderful to hear about your updates. You did great steps within the last six weeks, and you will move on. As said before, the pain and unbelieve will get less, the more time went on. You had a hard time, and it is not over until now. But with everything you get out of your old house, you are taking another step into a better future.
.
As Maggie mentioned before, you are better without your ex! He was not the best husband for you, every husband should be more than only a person you love, he should also be a friend! Friends are the most important thing in life, I think, and you have so many wonderful friends as it seems! Even Renske is not only a horse, she's a friend, and so is you dog and so are all of us here in the forum. We are not only a Monty Roberts Fan Community, we are all people who want to change at least something in the world.
.
How does Monty say? "It is my life's goal to leave the world a better place for horses, and for people too." And what happened to you? Your ex husband left you, while you were changing and starting to walk into Monty's footsteps, like we all do. So, Monty made your life better, didn't he? Why being married with somebody who only wants money and meets with another woman? This is not good, for nobody! So, even it is painful und unbelievable now, your life will get better, after you left the time you had with him behind you!
.
Let us know whenever you want to talk, people from all over the world are here to listen to you.
.
Love,
Jasmin
Hi May, This is my first time on the forum and I'm glad you have adjusted so well to your new situation.Two points: First, you're probably better off without someone who isn't really commited to what you are, and second, the only life you can ruin is your own. Enjoy the rest of your life.