Hi everyone
Im training my weanling using monty's methods, and in the short time ive had him ive already been told what feels like a million times im doing things wrong. Today really got me down, I was walking my weanling around the yard on his dually and line, practicing getting him to walk so his nose was near my shoulder, and taking a lot of time to let him investigate all the scary things around the yard. We wernt in a rush, I was wearing my hard hat and gloves, and for an 8 month old baby he was doing really well. We came back to the stable fronts, and the surface changed to a rougher rubble which suprised my baby and he stopped and said he couldnt possibly walk on this, so i let him have a good sniff, and take his time, only correcting when he went backwards using the dually. He was snuffling at the stones and looking calmer when another livery came over and instead of a greeting came out with "youre leading him wrong you need to stand by his shoulder otherwise you'll get kicked", i said im training him to walk with his head at my shoulder, and she just looked at me like i was stupid. Then she proceeded to get behind my baby and start slapping his buttocks and going get on boy get on with you and pushing against him. So ofcourse my baby got completly afraid and decided not to budge, he could feel my tension towards this woman and dug in his heels. I straightened his dually and rubbed him between the eyes, speaking softly and reasuring him that we have plenty of time, i know you'll walk forward since its the nicest option but if you need a minute thats ok too, and this stupid woman just stood there badgering me to move him on and get some sense into him, and after a few more minutes when he walked relaxed over the stones she seemed to believe it was down to her slapping and lecturing me.
So my question is (sorry about the long rant) how do you explain to people, who really are very interfeering, that you do things differently. I just said to her im training him natural horsemanship and she rolled her eyes and lectured some more. Nobody at the yard will give me a break, not just with the leading and training but even in his stable. Its like they see an opportunity to target the owner of a new horse (even though ive previously trained many horses) and instill their oh so wonderful wisdom. I have people problems not horse problems, but my baby picks up on it and its ruining my fun with him, im constantly trying to avoid running into all these people. Any advice how i can get rid of their interfeerance/ explain? Obvioustly results will speak wonders but it will take time with my baby.
Thanks :)
Too bad you cant be alone with him. Interfering people can be a real pain. I dont know what you can do about it if you have to be where there are other people, as I am not a people person. I blew up at my late husband because of his interference and abuse of my horses, finally had to tell him to lay off and leave me and my horses alone entirely. He said my methods took too long and the horses didnt respect me, because I didnt force them to do anything. He was wrong, they DID respect me, they were NOT afraid of me. And why should I be in a hurry anyway? They were MY horses. Evry time he tried to "help", I had to go back and regain the trust I was getting. Maybe you will have to just tell them he is your horse, and you have your own way of training and dont need any help. Might work, might not. Good luck.
When people interfere it's really bad. In the case you asked them help its ok, obviously. But if they interfere, because they think they know better, just ignore them in a gentle way. You are not interfering in their relationship with their horse, so they shouldn't do it with you. In horsemanship everybody seems to be an expert. We have respect any other way, as long as they don't abuse the horse. But as you are not, they just should shut up. I live alone with my horse in the country side, so nobody is interfering. I know that working at liberty, as I do, is very difficult in a arena where there are other riders. I would disturb them or even be a danger for them. Some people ask me, how I manage that my horse follows my free in the countryside. When I try to explain, I realize, that we live on two different planets. It is easier to communicate with a horse than with a human.
Be patient with them and faithful to your own way and your common sense.
Cristina
I'm not a people person so I just tell them to back off it not there horses and they don't have a say on how to train ur. Hope u find a way to train ur baby and have fun doing it to. Sorry I was much help.
Thanks for the support everybody. I wish i could move to the countryside too and just be alone with my animals and those few humans i love, but sadly i live in quite a built up area, and my yard has about 30 horses on it. Im really rubbish with people, and either come across as submissive, or get their backs up by mistake. Ive already been in a "set to" with another person there as they removed something from my horses stable that they considered dangerous.. a headcollar, and then lectured me about it. I wish people would just be nice and at least say, do you need help? before jumping in. Bah
Ellie
I am sorry you have to learn about some people the why you have. The problem is that lady will more than likely try to "help" you again. If you possible can calmly talk to the person that you are training your horse using a specific method. She may not agree with the method but ask her not to interfere and if you need help you will be sure to ask her for her advise.
If she continues to take over and starts to handle your horse , you then need to ask her to stop immediately and if she doesn't then you go to the owner of the stable and lodge a complaint with them. If that doen't work I would definitely find a new stable.
It is a shame that people think that they can just walk up and start controlling your horse. If they did that to a child you would call the cops!
If you don't feel comfortable talking with this lady, then put your feelings and your request in a letter and wither mail it to her or have someone deliver it for you.
You are doing the right thing by letting your little guy take the time to explore what is unknown to him.
Cheers
Ellie, firstly congratulations on doing so well with your baby. It sounds as if you had a really productive training session prior to the lady's interference so well done! I am sorry that you had this experience. Fortunately it sounds as if you baby did come through it alright and hopefully he didn't suffer too much from this experience. Unfortunately it seems to be part and parcel of trying gentle training methods amongst people who are ignorant of what we are trying to achieve with our horses. I am continually staggered at how few people in my Adult Riding Club have any idea of Monty and his methods. When I first took my young Tricka to the club we had to attend an "In hand session" prior to attending classes. The very experienced instructor was typical of the no nonsense type horse trainer that you are describing. Tricka was doing fine and because she was performing well the instucture asked if she could borrow her for her next exercise. Stupidly I felt quite proud that she had asked to use Tricka so handed her over not realising what was going to come next. We had been doing barrel work up until then with the barrel between us and the horse which I did find awkward. Once she had Tricka the instructor walked over to her 44 gallon barrel and pulled a kids swimming noodle out of the barrel which she had inserted a stick through to keep it firm - she had five others in the barrel for the other owners to use after her demonstration. Tricka was pretty good until the instructor started to wave the noodle at her quite forcefully. Naturally Tricka panicked and flew bachwards as she had never seen a pool noodle before. Then the instructor put her into a small circle and started hitting at her with the noodle. Admittedly it didn't hurt Tricka but it did terrify her and for the first time ever she started to fight back with ears back and kicking out. At this stage I asked to have her back. The instructor was reluctant to hamd her over saying this horse really needs to be disciplined and she was enjoying showing off her superior horsemanship to the other students in the group. Once I regained Tricka I took her quietly to the outside of the group and slowly started introducing the noodle to her as Monty would. It was not long until she was relaxed again and accepted the noodle all over her so we could return to our barrel and have her walk around it quietly. However whenever the instructor came near us her ears went back again. She had learnt to fight back. That day for the first time I even had problems loading her onto the float as she started to fight me too. One of my fellow riders even suggested that I ask that instructor to help me out - NO WAY! It was after this that I joined Monty's Uni and found the dually which was the best solution for Tricka. No more "in-hand" sessions for us with that instructor and I avoid having lessons with her too. Tricka will still flatten her ears at her if she sees her but allows other strangers to come up and pat her so bad memories stick fast with horses. I do hope your yearling hasn't suffered like Tricka did. It is so hard when so many horsey people do not understand what we are trying to achieve. Even though Tricka is nearly perfect now I still have fellow riders telling me that I treat her like a princess and I need to toughen up on her. Hang in there and just learn to politely ask these well meaning interfering people to leave you and your horse alone. It does mean that you have to toughen up a bit yourself and be ready to stand up for yourself and your horse but this is far better than having your early training undermined. I have learnt to smile at my would be givers of advice and my comment is something like "Thanks, yes I will think about that" or "Thanks for offering to help but I am OK at present". Horsey people like to help out so you need to be firm but friendly as it is important to keep your yard relationships as pleasant as possible. I would hate to be in your position as like others I am not a people person either and hate interference when it is not asked for. But..bite your tongue and politely asked them to back off and leave you be.
Ellie
Lots of fab advise already so all I want to say is stay strong...you know your not wrong.... dont doubt yourself and just keep doing the great job Im sure you are doing.x
Everyone has different ways ...not all wrong some just different....but if that woman handles your horse again be strong and ask her to stop...maybe point out you dont handle her horse and lecture her!!
Best wishes and remember she can only make you feel...how you allow her too!!
Hi Ellie,
I am so sorry that you had to have these bad experiences! As kikkyt said before, there were so many good advices. Be strong and tell this woman that you don't want here to handle your horse or interfere in any way. Monty's way to train horses is the right way, do never doubt this point!
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I had similar experiences a few years ago. I did never have a horse on my own, but I had a few riding partnerships. One of them got a hoof illness and the vet forbid to ride him. Okay, so I did some groundwork: Dually Training, walking over plastic (he was terribly afraid of the tarpaulin, thought it might eat him ;-) ), Join-Up, Double-Longlining, and so on.
Then there was a woman, offering me to teach me to do the Double-Longlining in the correct way (I had never learned it), and my fault was to agree. She used very tight side reins (without elastics) and a driving whip. She hit him with the whip and pulled hadly on his bit. He panicked and did not want to stop cantering around her (and he should not canter because of his illness). His owner stood outside the pen and I stood in the middle, next to the abusive woman.
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After that experience I had to build up trust and respect again in this little horse. He was no more respecting anyone, I could no more catch him in his paddock or walk him over plastic. I started again from the beginning and built up his trust.
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Even after that, his owner did not believe in my work after Monty's methods, maybe because I was still a little girl in her eyes (I know her since I am 13, now I am 19). One day last year I was brave enough and told her that I would feel that she did not accept me. After that, I never went to her and the horse again.
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Today I am working with three horses after Monty's methods, finding lots of acceptance and even compliment. In November last year I did my Introductory Course with Anna Kerckhoff de Sacchi (Monty Roberts Instructor) here in Germany. The three horses I am now working with are part of my fieldstudy, and aside a good thing for my traineeship as non-medical pratitioner, horse-chiropractor and horse-physiotherapist.
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Ellie, sorry for th elong text, but I wanted to tell you my story, so that you can see that it is not your fault. It is the ignorance of all the traditional trainers out there, what makes our lifes difficult. Tell these people that your baby is your horse, and that they have no right to even touch him if you don't agree with this. Tell them that they are ALLOWED to ASK WHAT and WHY you are doing it this way. And that they are even ALLOWED to INTERFERE, as soon as YOU ASK THEM! Keep on going this way Ellie, you are right in what you are doing, and I am sure your baby is doing great. If nothing changes, you should move to another stable, as I did (and I have to tell you that the owner of my new stable does not respect me at all, we don't like each other and he intereferes everytime I am there! Maybe I should do a Join-Up and some Dually-Schooling with him? ;-) ).
Tell us about how you are progressing!!!
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Best wishes from Hamburg, Germany
Jasmin
Hi! Ellie,
I had a similar experience at my stable. I discovered quite by accident that my horse was being handled very harshly when I wasn't there and by teenage girls!. The owner/trainer is teaching these kids that they should yell, hit, even kick their horses in the belly to discipline them. Needless to say it was not pleasant when I confronted her about it. Her response was if I don't like it I can find another stable for my horses. And I moved them out about 3 days later!!
You showed much more restraint than I would have. . . I'm afraid I would have started slapping this lady on the rear and then ask her how she liked it!!!
My point is: Sometimes you have to upset people to get the point across that it is not okay for them to hit your little guy or interfere with his training. You simply need to tell them "You may not agree with my methods but I will choose how he is to be trained. Please DO NOT interfere and do not lay your hands on my horse."
It sounds confrontational but sometimes that is what it takes with people when they won't leave you alone. Think of it this way: When you successfully train your horse using Monty's methods it makes it painfully obvious to these people that their methods are lacking. So, in order to make themselves feel better they must belittle you and your methods. Trying to explain to them what you are doing is useless.
I'm afraid Dennis is right. This lady will interfere again. I would encourage you to be very brave for the sake of your little guy and tell her to mind her own business. You need to tell her: "You may not agree with my methods but you need to respect them. Just like I don't agree with your methods but I don't interfere with you.
Keep going. . . I have used Monty's methods ever since his first book came out years ago. It is amazing when you build that kind of a relationship with your horse! All the battles will be worth it in the end.
All the best,
Shelley
Seattle, WA
Several years ago I was out riding my gelding when a neighbor came and asked me what I was going to do with the 2 mustangs I had just adopted, a 7 year old mare and a 3 month old colt. I told him I was going to gentle and train them. He then proceeded to inform me that I MIGHT be able to break them, but would never be able to trust them. Then he told me I would never believe it, but the best cowhorse he ever had was a mule. I asked why not, mules are smart and can learn anything you are smart enough to teach them. He went back to mustangs and how hard they were to do anything with, and I repeated what I said about mules, mustangs are smart enough to learn anything you are smart enough to teach them. Much to my relief, he got mad and left. He was a guy who was always interfering with everyone about everything they did, including my landlord and what he did with his cattle, but this guy didnt know anything about anything, as far as anyone could see. Every time someone was going to do anything and he found out about it, he came to take over. Nobody wanted him around for that reason. The colt grew up to be my stallion Phantom, who was the smartest, gentlest, easiest horse to get along with I had ever had, besides the "unbreakable" mare I had when I was a teenager. Some people just like to interfere, even when, or maybe especially when, they dont know what they are talking about. Luckily, he never tried to take over when I was gentling my mustangs, he showed up once to see if I needed help, I said no thanks, I could handle it, maybe I was a bit cold, he never tried again. And then we moved, so didnt have to worry about him anymore. He even tried to tell me how to handle my gelding, which I had been riding for several years. He told me I should use spurs and a whip if I intended to ride, because I would never be able to handle him if I didnt. It seemed to me I WAS riding at the time, or would have been if he hadnt stopped me, and I neither owned a whip or spurs, nor wanted any. Nightwind was a nut, but we got along fine. I didnt want Horace anywhere near my mustangs, I didnt trust him one bit. Actually, I didnt want him anywhere around at all.
Hi Ellie; :)
I hope your still reading these. SOOOOO; I'm completely "Green" when it comes to horses but I do know people pretty well. When someone like that lady comes around and puts her hands on YOUR horse, stay "Calm yet assertive" (like Ceser Millan the dog whisper says :)Come around to the side she is if you can, square your shoulders to hers and look her in the eye, (sound familiar :) as your looking here straight on in the eye say; "With all due respect Mam; please stop hitting my horse; I've got this." If she starts talking about all your "Wrong doing" (whatever) simply, calmly, assertively state, "Thank you for your input, we are doing just fine."Don't turn away from her. Stand YOUR ground; but calmly and patiently. The stare down will get uncomfortable and she will probably walk away grumbling. YOU are your babies "Warrior" If she still doesn't leave; say "Is there something else I can help you with?" If she starts "yapping about this or that, state again, "With all due respect Mam, I only have a wee bit of time and I would like to spend it with my horse." Smile your best smile and HOPEFULLY she will walk away! Practice in the mirror a few times and say it out loud. THEN you will be prepared for the next encounter of interfering people! :) Keep up the great work! :)
Much love,
Mary
Oh Ellie - I do hope all the great advice and the great stories have made you feel better and to realise that you are not alone. I have really enjoyed reading everyone elses comments - no wonder so many of use prefer our animals to people.
Keep it simple...if it works for you and your horse and you are satisfied with the results you are getting, then it is the right way. She's just jealeous and wants the same kind of relationship with her horse that you have with yours. Keep it up.
Keep it simple...if it works for you and your horse and you are satisfied with the results you are getting, then it is the right way. She's just jealeous and wants the same kind of relationship with her horse that you have with yours. Keep it up.
I don't know about jealous or not but when someone is that bold as to touch anothers horse one has to ask themslves what kind of person would do such a thing.
You will get nowhere if you say anything to her, just ignore her and continue with what you are doing.
Many times a look from you will be enough to ward people off.
Keep doing what you know is best and that is all you need to stress about.
Thanks everybody. You have no idea how much your support means to me :) I feel so much more resolved to stand up for what i believe in for the sake of my little guy. He is becoming one of the most amazing personalities ive ever had the pleasure to meet, and I love how he trusts me and theres no fear or uncertainty in his eyes when he sees me. I will not give up! x
That is the spirit Ellie. Hang in there and enjoy your amazing little guy knowing you are doing it the right way. It is so much fun training them kindly.
I to have just recently returned to horse riding after 20 yrs away, and get all kinds of advise on how to train, how to ride and i have point blank been told that Monty's training does not work. But I've watched his training on RFD-TV and I was lucky enough to go to one of his clinics. I'm now a uni student. I dont have a horse yet but when I get mine it will be trained with gental hands, a lot of patients and monty's methods.
Ellie,
After hearing your story & the many others posted, I want you to know that things will get better. I often find myself in that same situation, even as a Monty Roberts Certified Instructor. I try to explain to people the reason for doing things the way that we do. Some people will listen, and some will be close-minded and ignore you. The method that has worked best for me is letting the horse do the talking. You can defend the methods & reasoning to someone until you are blue in the face. I have found sometimes the best way to get your point across is to show people the partnersihp you are able to create based on simply giving the horse a choice, free of violence. I know these methods work effectively, and the bond I have with my horses proves that. If even one person changes their way of thinking based on willingness they see in my horses it's a win in my book! Things will get better... It may be difficult to deal with people like that on a daily basis, but your long term goals with your horse are the most important thing. I wouldn't hesitate to let people in your yard know that you are working with your weanling in a certain way and you wish that they not interfere or strike him in any way. If someone is striking your horse it will make the work you are doing to gain his trust much more difficult.
Keep up the good work and have fun with your little guy!
Its interesting reading ! People who dont understand or agree with montys ways do find it hard to watch when where schooling like not walking at the horses shoulder? but in my case i find some of the wisdom people have can still be helpful i think at the end of the day you do what works for you and your horse for me natural horsemanship feels right. I love montys ways with horses its definatly beautyful to watch
ps just wondering if anyone else is having problems with there videos downloading soooooooooooo slow ? have updated flash player any other advice would be much appreciated!
I hear you Ellie I've owned horses for 30 years but as soon as I got a foal everyone thought I knew nothing and all chipped in advice. All I said was thanks but I'm trying one bit of advice at a time so I know what works, they didn't have to know it was Monty's advice. It's been a wonderful lesson in boundary's for me and my fur kid, stay strong and acknowledge you know more than you think when it comes to your horse :) Good Luck
Love this post, it's just so normal for livery yards!!!!!!!!!
You do sometimes have to be very straight forward & say "don't handle my horse".
An instance with my lovely TB X Welsh boy - i'd taught him to bow & one of the other liveries wanted to show off to someone, so she took them into his stable after he'd been tucked up for the night, so his muscles were cold & made him bow, bumping his bum into the wall, she was ever so proud of her self & told me all about it the next day saying i hope you don't mind! Well, i did mind very much, my reply was "No, why should i mind if you ask him to do extreme stretching like that with cold muscles so that you tear them to shreds? Why would i mind that at all? what did you get from showing off my training, it's not yours is it! Are you happy with trying to do him damage?" must say, i was so cross, i did offer to do her some physical damage if she ever interfered with him again!
I prefer my animals too!!!
hi everyone,
I just moved to the capital of my country because of the university and I had to find a new stable to work with horses. I found a western stable (one of 2 in whole country). I spoke to tke owner and he told me that he "didn't do alternative methods" but that I could work with his horses. also, I decided to ride there (change the style from english to western to try new things).
Riding part is ok for now, I am learning quick and the owner/trainer is pleased with my progress.
BUT
The first time that I worked with the horse everything went well, I did join up and longlined him and the owner was pleased. (he just told me that I should remove the hobble from the stirrups - for longlinig - because it was giving mixed signals to the horse??)
next time, I decided to do a bit of dually work and join up. the mare (2.5yr old quarter) resisted it a bit - normal into pressure syndrome - but the owner was not pleased at all. he said that after that he won't be able to put the halter on the mare because she won't let him - also, she doesn't like to have her poll touched and he doesn't touch it... I have the session filmed and I watched it. I didn't see anything unusual or soo terrible like the owner described it. I will send the video to CI (I am practising for my intro exam) when I have enough videos...
now, I will go there again in couple of days. can you advise me how to approach the owner and explain him better what the purpose of the session is?
P.S. in Croatia it is not easy to find someone who would let you do sth non violent (ALTERNATIVE they call it) with his horse, people just laugh to you... also, the working place is a problem because here there are no round pens (usually only 20x40) so I put electric fence to make it 20x20 but horses don't see electric tape as a fence ;)
I'm not completely understanding everything you are describing here in your post however, don't be afraid to explain the benefits of the dually and all of the work that you are doing. If the owner doesn't understand the benefits then he is going to question your methods. Be confident in your work, if you're not confident, he's not going to be confident in you either. Monty is wonderful at explaining the purpose of what he's doing to his audiences so that they understand why he's doing what he's doing and what the end result will be. As far as not allowing her poll to be touched, if she is not desensitized to this she will always be phobic about it. If's she's a bit head shy he's needs to understand these things are easily overcome with the right methods. Sorry, I know you were probably hoping for more specific things to say but I hope this will help a little bit. Remember, even if you're not confident in your work you can be confident in Monty's work and you're doing Monty's work!
Ellie,
2 scats behind again. How rude are they?! I would recommend that you politely tell these people that he is YOUR horse & that everybody has their own opinions & ways of doing things right or wrong. I mean I don't like the way a friend of mine mucks out her horses when she's home but I don't impose the way I do them during the week on her, we do things differently the end result is ultimately the same the muck ends up in the trailer!! I used to introduce my man to everything as a foal, tractors, diggers everything, now he's a pain because he'll stop to watch a tractor working in the field, or stick his nose over the hedge on the mower when we cut the hay! But he's safe with pretty much whatever we meet! So your doing a good job, a calm horse is a safe horse surely... If these people want to force their horses then that's up to them but they should respect your way of doing your horse. Are these people the same with children telling the parents how to raise the child??
I think we all feel angry at what she did, how dare she slap and push your horse!
thinking as a mare would do in a herd if one of her herd was being attacked in such a fashion the lead mare would have spun round at forced the one causing harm away from her herd.
had it just been words then I would not have reacted, if someone did or would do that to any of my horses or horses I work with I would spin around and face them off.
Bear with me if that sounds harsh but.... The youngster is looking for leadership and guidance from us, when in danger or unnecessary pressure they look to us for protection, spinning around putting the horse behind us and facing the person off and telling that is 'unacceptable behaviour and they must stop' will reinforce in the horses mind that we are a good leader and protector for them, this will only help our relationship with the horse. as for the person they'll think twice about offering a forced opinion & let's hope they'll come across Monty's methods for themselves one day.
at that point where we take that strong lead in order to protect our horses, the horse or horses automatically go behind us for protection no matter what we were doing before a situation arose.
Equus a simple but strong language. :D
X
nice reply Mel
thanks Beryl.
Heard of another horse today that one of the girls at the stables saw and intervened at a show when a horse wouldn't load so the owner started whipping it violently, both this lady and others intervened to prevent further harm to the horse.
Well done them!
Glad they did Mel, it takes courage to stand up to them but to quote the great Martin Luther King: "Never never be afraid to do what is right, especially if the wellbeing of a person or an animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way"
I had a situation once... I travelled 1300km to fetch my new and young mare. And had to travel that 1300km back after I got her. She grew up in the fields, so she and I still had a long road to travel in gaining trust in humans. However, when we loaded her, I travelled with her in the box while we were still on gravel. I used myself as an example for her to rely on how to perceive her experience in the box, I appeared very relaxed and 'sleepy', and could see her watching me each time something startled her, and very soon she accepted all the noise of travelling and so forth. Due to the long distance ahead we stopped over at a stabling accommodation on our way back home. The next morning I had to load her for the second time in her very life. I had no opportunity in this whole process to do join-up or dually schooling apart from doing the loading. The owner of the overnight facilities came walking up to us, with his whip curled around his neck, saying: "all they need is a couple of smacks"...!!! That send my blood boiling, still a few feet from us I turned my face to him and stopped him in his tracks, I told him plainly; "no, nobody will ever hit a horse of mine! I am not into violence with horses!" Even my husband stopped whatever he was doing, knowing this guy is playing with his life. He turned around and walked off, and I was shaking with rage towards him. I am starting shaking know as I recall this. After a couple of deep breaths and calming down, we went about with advance and retreat, and used Monty's methods, it only took a few minutes and she loaded beautifully. She and I now share a bond that is priceless to me.
Keep in mind, I am a very soft spoken, shy individual, I don't want to be noticed, and I don't ever make a scene. And I hate confrontations. But it was like a form of maternal instinct towards my girl took hold of me that day.
My point is this:
I feel we have to give ourselves permission, that it is perfectly okay, to tell another person; "I am not telling you what/how you should do your hobby/your passion, don't tell me how, I do it this way, because I enjoy it".
And I also find it useful now to plan how to react should something like this ever happen again.
I also like to use this experience, to tell the story over to other people in my life, that will cross paths with me in how I work with my horses, to strategically let them know (warn them) by hearing my story where I stand with all of this business of schooling horses. Even before anything practical comes up.
Hi Ellie
Your situation sucks! You are more than welcome to come to sunny Wales we arent posh but we dont boss people round :)
I am completely none confrontational, in fact I avoid it at all costs. I grew up on the old methods, taught by the classic dragon who had been around horses all her life, who knew everything there was to know, and insisted on butting in to everyone's business. I didn't know any other way than hers, but my mare was a school mistress and I didn't have any problems so it was ok.
I later took on a project horse, her yard was right by my house so worked out easiest all round. The day my mare arrived she told me "get rid, she will kill you" I smiled and said you could be right but I love her.
Several times more I was advised to get rid, and I just smiled and said I love her, if she is nothing more than a companion I can live with that so long as she is safe and happy that is all I want.
Quietly I worked away, using Monty's methods, spending every moment I could with her, building a bond with her. She was very damaged by previous treatment and people told me that Monty was talking rubbish, that it was for tv, that it was fake, that he "probably beats all the horses" backstage. They gave me advice on dominating my horse, on showing her who was boss, on harsh methods that would get results. I would listen quietly, nod, agree, and continue with what I was doing. I would actively ask questions about what they were telling me, showing curiosity about their methods, pointing out that I could only learn by understanding what people have experienced. I found this was the quickest way to get them to go away.
Months later I was having a cuddle and giving my mare a brush in the yard. The sun was shining, and we had the music on, it was a perfect day, the dragon who owns the yard walked over and nodded, and told me "she has come on so much, you should be proud of her"
patted her and walked away.
Later that day I bumped into a friend, she told me how shocked she was, that she had popped round to the yard owners house the night before and she was telling her how actually she may have misjudged natural horsemanship that this "Monty bloke" might know what he was about, and that she wouldnt mind going to see him when he was next over in the UK because his methods had fixed a mare she would have bet would not recover from her previous treatment.
So smile, listen, nod, agree, ask questions, then do what you do anyway, if they attempt to come and touch your horse, make a comment like "just watch his back end he has been a bit fiesty today" and they will back right off
Good Luck and remember there is room in Wales xx
I have a very difficult person who criticises everything I do, it's impossible. My horse is weaving and anxious when he comes in at night now.
Hi Victoria. Welcome to the Uni. It's horrid to be in this situation, however, you give almost no details so very difficult to offer much help at this stage. Please flesh your post out with breed, age & horses' history as well as more detail on this person - do they own/manage the yard you are on? They will believe they are offering you help & your horses' problems will only serve to cement that belief. You do not have accreditations on the Uni. I take it this is because you're new to it. Study the lessons & questions. They give really valuable information. Perhaps practice with your horse & perfect a simple but new thing & then offer to share with this person the information that lead you there. Alternatively, adopt Karen's way of dealing with a similar situation - see previous post to yours. You might end up with a new convert! Either way, keep us posted. We will support & advise you, as best we can. At least you will not feel alone! Good luck. Cheers, Jo.
Hi Ellie, I'm with the crew that says tell her to buzz off and just wait to see the envious look on her face as your relationship with your horse develops. Our barn are all into natural horsemanship techniques especially Monty's methods. Helped by the fact I rocked up last September with a horse that follows you out the barn with no lead to go riding, takes herself to the mounting block and waits for you to step up there and hop on. Willing partners! A lot of people want this from their horses but don't know how to get it and if we're being honest admitting to yourself you may have been going wrong for many years in some cases is a tough call. Anyway best of luck and keep going!
When I was teaching my Princess to let me ride her, she was doing great, if a little slow on moving, and a girl I know came and brought a guy who kept telling me that his brother could break her in no time. (I was riding her at the time) and he kept telling me that until I finally blew up at him and told him she is MY horse and I am doing it MY way, and NOBODY is going to take over and hurt her in any way. And I DON'T need any help. I don't like confrontations at all, don't even like people much, and prefer to be left alone. He kept trying to interfere and I nearly lost my temper with him. I told the girl later not to EVER bring him back, I didn't appreciate people trying to tell me how to handle my own horse. I was in no hurry and didn't see any reason to be. And I did NOT want my little girl "broken", I wanted her taught, and I knew what I was doing. Now she does what I ask because she wants to, not because she has to. We have 5 horses, and they all come when called, none of them are the slightest bit spooky, and they like to be with us. So we must be doing something right. So Ellie, stand up for your horse and don't let anyone bully either her or you. You know what you are doing and you know your horse, they don't.