Hi. I would love to hear people's thoughts.
I have owned my horse for around 20 months now and we started out doing natural horsemanship and building a good relationship.
When she bucked me off one day (she was just very fresh - my fault), I decided to focus on groundwork to build my confidence back. This turned out to be a great thing as we discovered she had not been given enough provisional schooling so weeks of long-reining and double-lunging improved her way of going and her relaxation.
With this we could then start working on softening her outline, etc.
Unfortunately, two things then happened:
1. I began to suffer from severe fatigue which made me unconfident in the saddle. This was eventually diagnosed as CFS and meant my instructor rode her half the time as I was too exhausted.
2. I lost sight of our partnership and began focusing too much on her education and way of going.
The result was eventually we lost confidence and trust in each other and now I don't want to ride her in the school at all and while she trusts me totally on the ground as soon as I'm on her back I can sense her worry.
My question is, having now gotten her to a good level of education as a riding horse, is it ok for us to go right back to basics to build our trust? I.e. just riding around the yard together. Hopping off after a few minutes while we're still relaxed and happy. Slowly building up to very short hacks with a tiny bit of trot. Etc.
Will doing this mean that when the time comes to try a canter in the school she will respond badly as we haven't done it in ages, or will following Monty's programme and taking baby steps mean that when I feel confident to ask for it she will have the confidence to give it?
Thanks.
Dear Cathy, Thank you for sharing your life and fears here at the EOUni. Let me be your horses voice to start with. She is worried because you are worried, she can not understand why you are worried, she can only react upon the action in her near presens. With that said, you Cathy have come very far by telling your story - that is the first step and one of the hardest one! This means you are actually conscious about your feelings hence there is a window open for you to embrace the future. You have also answered your own questions - You know what You need now, as long as you keep in mind it is You who need the baby steps You and your horse will be just fine. I can actually promise you that You will be okey - because Your horse will understand if you have "let it go"! As long as we keep it hidden inside our horses will be worried and react to the fear. The day you can look her in the eye and say: I am scared and I need your help - that day will be a wonderful day.
Take your time - be honest to your horse and yourself - and take as many baby steps as you need. Your horse will take your breath away with empathy. KEEP ON EQUUS and a lot of love from CI Ann Lindberg/Sweden
I am in the same boat and going back to basics helped us both. There is more "celebrating the connection" and refreshing manners/lessons that were pushed aside in an effort to be ridden. His confidence is growing, his complete trust is returning and we are both using that to our advantage. I have also located a wonderful trainer to help us both which was so fortuitous. What's been wonderful fore me, is other MORE experienced horse owners at my barn complimenting me on his manners and ground work. He can sense when OTHERS are appreciating him as well as me and he's definitely a "pleaser" pony. Take your time, let go and enjoy the time spent together. Building a relaxed environment that BOTH of you can appreciate, he'll let you know when he's ready to move on... Mine did!
Amen to all the above :-) Take your time, it takes as long as it takes, enjoy the journey together with no thoughts of time.
Hi Cathy, i've been there too! Ann gave you an excellent answer.
I got run over about 28ish years ago, fracturing my spine, burst discs & undiagnosed thyroid damage for 20 years; i was in so much pain & so fatigued, at one time it took me 2 hours to get out of bed & get dressed, i then had to drive about 5 miles to see to my ponies, getting back across the tiny paddock felt like a marathon. I went from becoming a fairly decent dressage rider to a blob who couldn't put my bum in the saddle as it was agony. My beloved Rocky looked after me every step of the way; when at one point, i had to hold the front of the saddle in walk, he just took each step very carefully to stay underneath me. He is no longer here but is now "Saint Rocky" with good reason!!!
I( never thought i'd be able to have such a close relationship with any other horse BUT, i do with my alpha mare, she may be Alpha, but because she is, she looks after everyone, we've gone though some very tough times together mentally & physically. Yours will do the same for you, just take your time & only do what you are ready for, before you know it, you'll be wanting to try just a little more & a little more providing you don't try to overface yourself too fast.
good luck, believe in your horse
Thanks for sharing, Beryl. What a tough journey for you - you are amazing! Your love of horses no doubt kept you motivated - I am sure they understood.
Thanks MaggieF, it certainly has been tough, If i hadn't loved my darling Rocky so much, i'd have curled up & died, the pain in my back was unbearable, BUT he needed me & he was my world; Libby & Ebby are now my world.
It is so nice to read Ann's answer!
I too have had Health Issues all my life..My horses have always understood and gone at my pace. At times it was years with out riding out on the trail. But during those times there was some bareback time on the property. The horses always understood and were very good, even when they were a little bit to fresh they did there best to make sure I stayed on. Those few and far between bareback rides were amazingly preformed in perfect collection and leg responses smooth as butter. It is a special experiences when your horse cares enough to respond to your leg when you mean it and ignore you trying to gather your seat. :O) All that time of my horses being patient with me has made it easier to be patient with my new horse (31/2 years with me now)as he went through his health issues. Now that he is well, his fear/stress/trust issues that we have yet to get through.
Its all Good just enjoy your horsey time together,, no worries, no pressure.
Thanks everyone. I'm glad we did so much work as her initial training did need to be completed but now I think I'm happy to go back to basics for me and let her slow down to my pace. I've ordered a new saddle that should make me much more secure and so give me the confidence I'm so lacking. It should also keep me in the saddle should she be silly or if I run out of steam out on a hack. The saddler is coming on Monday for a fitting and I'm really excited.
It has been inspirational reading of other people's struggles. It has also forced me to recognise that I am not the person I was and that I need to change my goals and expectations to fit my new capabilities. I suspect Poppy would much rather be hacking the Irish countryside than attending dressage clinics and competitions anyway.
So our new life starts in March!
Cathy it sounds like you are off on a Great New Beginning!
something you might be interested in regarding saddles, mine was made by Steve Hartill from Pennwood Saddlery, it's a Dressage Supreme & is covered with a hide with a pile on the surface, it's not suede, as suede is the split, inside part of the leather whereas this is actually an expensive higher quality version made by Sedgwicks; anyway, the point is, it's much more "grippy" so you are much more secure in your seat than on smooth, shiny leather. Suede covered would do the same job.