Hi Charlotte - as you say, your poor lad is frightened and that's ok, it's normal but not helpful haha! I wonder if you could tell us a bit more as it seems you have tried a lot of things but some context and info would help. Things that would help are (forgive the list but here goes!) 1. How old is he 2. How long have you had him 3. Over what period of time have you had these "various" trainers and what have they suggested and how has he responded? 4. For how long and in what context have you tried the pacifier? 5. There is a difference between a true napper and a frightened horse; you describe him as both, which do you feel he is and what is he frightened of? E.g. napping can be "I don't want to leave the yard so I'm going home" or it can be "I can see through the fog I'm frightened" or "I don't like the scary road" or....do you see what I mean? Is it a learned habit or is is scared? 6. What is he like if you lead him in hand along the same route?
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So nice that he tried so hard for you and I can see you want to do right by him but it is crucial to understand why he behaves this way and what drives the behaviour before you can we can problem solve with you.
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Sorry if it's seems I'm bombarding you with questions but I promise there are some great people on here with a lot of knowledge who will want to support you :-)

Thanks VIcci!
He is 8/9 years old bought from a lying dealer who said he was a family all rounder. I have had him a year and he started napping two weeks after I bought him. We started with guy Robertson last October who suggested a 'turn him from side to side to get him feet moving' approach which worked for a while but then he started going backwards. If you smack him he rears. Then we tried an ex jockey who suggested groundwork - back, forwards, side to side. This didn't solve the napping and by then I was doing sj and xc at both of which he had taken off and thrown me. We regularly get eliminated for leaving the arena sj when he naps towards the entrance tho he is an excellent jumper as long as we don't have to pass the entrance! More recently we did clicker training which was fine until the target is removed and he totally panics and loses it.
We have used the pacifier for just a week as per Walter won't go - tape covering half etc. he had one flick with the giddy up and was off which was great but until today he seemed to be himself together fear wise. I am certain he would have taken off if he had had more pressure applied. He is always on edge being ridden outside of the livery school.
I would say he is 80% of the time scared and then some habit/being difficult.
Just a few weeks ago he took fright being led in from the field and he plunged and booted me but we have been using the dually which seems to give him 80% more confidence that he won't be eaten. He has improved beyond measure in this respect in just days and I no longer fear leading him in it.
I have not tried leading him the route as until the dually that would have been just dangerous. I did try leaving the yard with a rope halter as per the clicker lady and he was fine out but panicked when we turned for home.
Overall I think he takes a lot of confidence from these very good horse people but as soon as we are on our own again I am not good enough to make him feel safe though as I say massive improvements have been made. He is just scared of everything and nothing.

VIcci if you are someone or you know someone who you think could guide me I will happily pay for phone advice if that is an option? Very hard to convey stuff in a short post..

Hi Charlotte
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What worries me about this situation is that in only a year you have been trying at least three different trainers, god knows how many different ideas/methods, risking life and limb by competing with him even though he bucks, throws you off, runs out o the arena and gets disqualified! Are you tired of living??!! ;-)
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This boy needs the one thing that no-one is giving him TIME and SPACE to learn to trust. I suspect the years before you had him have been pretty miserable for him. "When you smack him he rears" - who smacked/smacks him and why?
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Please don't think I'm being harsh or getting at you I'm not but it is vital that you stop messing with different ideas and pushing him this way and that way to try and get what you are looking for. I suggest the following plan (1) If you have not done so get him properly checked out for pain preferably by an equine physio (2)Stop riding him and for now and focus on your relationship and groundwork with him (Great that you have the Dually) (3) Whereabouts in the UK are you based Charlotte? we can see if one of Kelly Marks Recommended Associates is in your area (4) Forget the rope halter and clicker palaver; while I am not against this by any means this is not what you both need at the moment, it's too much "doing" and not enough "being"
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I am so glad you have come to the forum for yours and your boy's sake Charlotte; please trust that with time, the Monty philosophy and way of working, and the support you will get on here things will change things but only if you avoid the "quick fix" solution trainers (of which there are many!).
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Take a deep breath and enjoy a new journey, it will be worth it :-)

I'm with Vicci, step back and let him have space to breath. He is still young and you have many years ahead of you.
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If you do not have a recommended associate near you, then maybe one of us is close to you. We are willing to help or if you're the south side of London I can come and lend a hand to get you started if you can cover fuel.
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Something that you will both find of value to build your confidence and also his trust in you is to start spending time with him in the field. Keeping out of his space just sit, relax and think about the relationship you want with him.
Imagine riding out of the gate and down the route you want without any problem. don't think of the problems that are there, just daydream what you would like it to be. Visualuse!
Mel x

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post really grateful! We are based in York so perhaps a bit far away but thank you for offering to help us. I will look see if there is an instructor who may be willing to come to us. Thank you again...

http://www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk/specialist-horse-training.html

This is the link to to Kelly Marks website and her list of Recommended Associates - see if there is one near you. Good luck Charlotte, let us know how you get on. I'd like to hear about your journey if you feel you want to share it.
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Best wishes, Vicci

There are a few Certified Instructors too on the Uni... http://www.montyrobertsuniversity.com/instructors

xx

Hi, looks like you're new to the uni, so welcome. Vicci & I are old hands when it comes to the Uni. We don't always agree but that's good- Uni needs friendly conflict to flush out the best options. Your cob sounds a lot like my Humphrey - frightend stupid by some idiot, rabbit in the headlights, running in wild circles with his mouth open. I'd suggest this, go back to basics. STOP! Spend a few days just loving him. Get a Dually head collar, if you don't already have one. Do join up & relax - you've found the right training method but there are no short cuts. If you cherry pick this won't work either, nothing will if you chop & change. What your cob needs is clear, calm, consistent & fair treatment. Follow the Uni & you will get the training & info you need to do that - all the lessons. Humphrey, the late gelded (6 year old) now 7 & unbroken cob is teaching Stan, the frightend of horses, reared off & kicked youngster, now 24, that ponies are great. It's gonna be a long job bringing them both on fairly to each but, know what - with love it an be done, with Monty it can be done. Stan met Monty at Ingliston EC last Saturday. Stan has more positivity now. Humphrey is up for progression, although Girthy. I know if I use the right methods this is do-able. My Humphrey is such a gentle cob & Stan deserves to have a life success - he's ADHD, by the way. Cheers, Jo.

Hello Charlotte, You have come to the right place. These folks are very insightful and will most likely help you over-come the difficulties that you are now experiencing with your horse. Vicci, those questions that you asked in the beginning were so-well thought out and presented. As the conversation developed between you and Charlotte, there was a clear dynamic that became very obvious to me. {new horse, 3 different trainers, and coercive, riding direction} This seems to be all about the lack of RELATIONSHIP AND TRUST. Just because a horse has been to a trainer- s and has been ridden does not equate to successful results for new riders. Horses are not machines as sometimes our human expectations would have us all believe. They are representatives of the spirit of nature and need to be handled with that dignity. Charlotte, remember, time is a human thing that sometimes we grapple with it for convenience sake . But to spend your time with that horse and build relationship and trust would be time so-well-spent. He needs someone in his world that is solid and there for him every day. Step by step, you can help him put his emotional conformation back together. Horses that don`t pass muster, for whatever reason, in a timely manner, seem to get kicked down the proverbial road to someone else. You, as a lady, probably are equipped to get this done. I realize that this is a challenge that you probably were not expecting with this horse, but the journey will be your unseen treasure and an opportunity to build what could be the relationship of a life-time. GO SLOW, ENJOY THE RIDE, AND BE SAFE. Bud

Beautifully put Bud!