Hi Wendy; what a dreadful place she went to - please don't go anywhere near them again. Can I ask a really blunt question? Why is it so essential that she gets on this or any horse, why are you 'desperate'? You say she gets on really well with the pony on the ground and is leading and longlining great. Is it ok to let things be at that for now? This is not probably not the best riding pony for your daughter at the moment. Being scared is a very hard thing to get over and you need a very special pony and a very skilled teacher. What part of the country are you in Wendy?

Hi, let's deal with the basics first. The pony is Millie. 10 year old daughter is not named. You do not appear to have made use of the video lessons, yet. So, if attending a course in person is out of the question study the Uni lessons. Get a dually head collar if you do not have one yet. The red one fits my 11.3 welsh A but if Millie has a small head you'll want the green one. Learn 'Join Up' and then start to repair Millie. Study the Uni with your daughter & let her do as much of the work with Millie as she can - then their respective confidence levels will increase as well as coming to mutually respect one another. I'm no doctor but logically the journey for the pony and daughter together will have a most positive effect on both of them. Riding May well happen, but only when the two are partners. Millie was only responding to the panicked child on her back. Once your daughter shows interest in riding I suggest she tries on a school master type, RDA or riding school lead rein pony before over facing herself with Millie again.

Hi
Thank you for your responses, we have a dually head collar and have been schooling Millie.
on the lead rein she is a star she doesn't bat an eye at anything she just bimbles around as good as gold my friend also uses Millie for her 2yr old we have owed Millie for 4 years and during this time have built up a very strong bond last summer we spent the whole summer long reining her and she does this so well we have walked miles lol
The reason I was asking for advice is that my daughter chloe really wants to ride off the lead rein her goal is just to hack out with her older sister so I was looking for someone possibly to work with chloe and Millie not solely for riding but just to build her confidence but this is tough because. Of her aspburgers doesn't relate to strangers that well
Millie is a lovely pony and her and chloe have a good relationship on the ground she is like a little circus pony and will do alsorts of tricks chloe has taught her to lift her leg and bow down when asked she stands for hours to be fussed and groomed and she would be thrilled if she could hack out, although saying that today we tacked up and just walked around the yard only for a few minutes but it was lovely with no wobbles it makes no difference to me if chloe rides or not but chloe wants to ride off the lead rein we are in the south uk Vicci in Hampshire
I hope this makes sense it's very hard to explain

I haven't explained that well, chloe has been riding Millie on the lead rein for the past 4 years and is fine on the lead she wants to come off the lead rein we have watched some of the lessons together and Kelly marks and monty roberts are Chloe's heroes lol chloe can ride well but just lacks confidence to come off the lead we've done riding on a lunge line to gradually create distance but when we try off the lead Chloe's confidence just goes and the pony reacts

Ok. Re-set! Hi Chloe & Wendy. Have you tried a halfway step, leading Millie from the sisters mount? If not, start with Millie & no rider. Then progress to in a safe place and then even just a few steps. If Chloe & Millie are happy in the safe place, get Chloe to choose where to go - like a close barn. When they start out keep watch and try to end the short trip before either gets upset. Yes, real baby steps. But every time this is successful both pony & child will grow in confidence. Rome was not built in a day. Millie has a bond with Chloe & is only reacting to her partners distress. The backing up is possibly to try & get back to the very spot where Chloe was ok. Ponies are like that -I have 5! Try & let Chloe plan her own 'steps'. Talk it through with her, giving her control is frightening for the parent but really good for the child. Good luck. Jo

Ah new information makes a difference :-) I would agree with everything Jo has said. If you go onto Kelly Marks website www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk and look under Recommended Associates you will find the one for Hampshire area; it might be worth getting him/her in for some extra help too.

Thank you for your responses we will try the very short rides
I think then call someone in if need be it's a shame
I can't upload pics on here I have some stunning
Ones that show the bond between Chloe
And Millie they really are best of friends x

Hi Wendy,

I agree totally with Jo and Vicki. I'm currently doing lessons myself to regain my confidence. If you check out the Equus Online Facebook group you can upload photo's in there and we can follow her progress easier. :)

Best of luck

Hi
I would like to thank everyone for their advice it has been so helpfull I have re read my original post and sorry to have sounded so desperate I was just upset at seeing how these so called professionals had treated Millie, since our last post we have been having lots of little rides off the lead and me just walking along beside so I'm there for reassurance if need be this seems to be working cos we chatter and sing songs chloe even managed a 10 min lesson last week with a friend of mine which is great I'm so proud of chloe and Millie

Hi. I think this is great news. So pleased for you, Chloe & Millie. You will be able to expand on this progress & even though you may get the odd setback you have a roadmap, as Monty would say, so you can go to whatever level is necessary to restart the building again. It'll be ups & downs, sure - but life is like that. I'm sure Chloe & Millie will have great fun together & remember, the forum is here to help & support - you are not on your own! Cheers, Jo

That's really wonderful, nice to hear

Wendy, I am going to Redhill on Saturday, you're only about an hour away from there, if you like I can pop over and help you out a bit, I'd just need a few pennies to cover fuel from Redhill to you. I have been working with autistic children with my horses, and my daughter is autistic so I'll be able to help you along. contact me on Facebook.com/mhetfield
Mel x

This would be really good - I've visited Mary with her mostly untouched 4 year old with really positive results. It would be so great if, in real quick time the forum arranged two such visits with positive results for both for both. Looks like Mel would be ideal for you and she's going to be nearly on your doorstep. Wishing you both all the best. Jo

Are there Monty Roberts teachers in Arizona?
merci.silverb@gmail.com

Hi mel
I'm so sorry I've only just read your post and it's Saturday I would have loved that maybe if your this way agiain

No worries, guessed that might be the case. I'm back over Redhill way again tomorrow afternoon, could possibly make it to you around 4:30? If you get to see this msg in time, texting me might be best 07886744113
Don't mind who has the number ;)
Mel x

Ok. Would someone please update this. We want to do the journey with you guys. What happened? Did you meet up, was it postponed. Hey, we are getting excited by the prospect of something good here. Cheers, Jo.

Hi
Sorry for not updating my PC has been down so only just back on line I haven't contacted mel yet as we seem to be making progress at the moment chloe (my daughter) is having lessons from a friend which is going really well although the pony was naughty in the last lesson chloe coped very well and remains very positive but we are going to get her saddle checked as the behaviour was very extreme when in walk all was fine but when asked to trot the pony refused and started to go backwards when then asked to walk and then trot again pony would drop on her front legs so maybe saddle is pinching?

Hi. There is a modern thing about having saddle checked, at some expense. This is not necessarily the simplest route. Try another saddle if you can borrow one or unless the pony is very round try putting something really thick under your own saddle. This is less useful on really round ponies as the tendency is for the saddle to simply slide sideways. No saddle fits perfectly all the time because our animals change shape when they gain & loose weight but none of us use 4 different saddles on the same pony. If the saddle has no rough spots on the underside & you can see daylight through the gullet when the saddle alone is on the pony & someone sits on it, then the saddle will not be pinching under normal circumstances. Use a good, clean pad - you'd be amazed how many people hardly ever clean the surfaces that touch their pony. I assume we are talking about Millie here. How long was the lesson? Is it possible Millie felt Chloe was getting tired or was tired herself? Hope this helps. Cheers, Jo

Hi Wendy,
I hope you take Mel up on her offer, Jo has helped me with my untouched boy Apollo in so many ways, she has given me confidence as well as Apollo, I feel so lucky to have met her.
Also, I used to be a hairdresseer and had a little boy with bad autism come to me regular as he wouldn't let anyone else cut his hair so maybe finding the right person for your daughter will take time, good luck x