Hello
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Good on you for giving this a go and achieving join-up :-) Its a pretty amazing experience isn't it?
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From my understanding, horses gain dominance over each other by moving the feet of the other horse. In light of this, I think that if the horse is not lame, and you are standing in the right place when you ask the horse to leave, and the horse refuses to move away from you, it is challenging your leadership or authority for want of a better word. She may well have figured out what the end result is, but she still should move away from you when you ask.
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OR
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You may have been standing too close to the horse within its Pressure Zone when you asked her to move off. As horses are "into pressure" animals, if you are standing too close to them when you ask them to move, they wont. They will just shut down and stand there.
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When I did my Intro Course earlier this year, we did a hearding exercise where three of us had to work together as a team to heard our horse around some obstacles in a round pen. It was amazing just how tempting it was for us to get closer to our horse when he wouldn't move (our predator instinct perhaps??). Next you know, you are in his pressure zone and he isn't going anywhere! Incredible :-)
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Perhaps you may not have been standing in the driving position when you asked her to move off or maybe your body language was not as clear as it was the first time?
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When I was first trying join-up on my horses, I could not get one of them to move for the life of me. My husband could make him move, but I could't. This horse really made me aware of my body language and body position. I am not an overly agressive person, so I have had to work very hard on my "go away" face, body and eyes.
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Its hard to give advice when you can't see what's happening, but with a bit of luck I have given you some food for thought at least :-)
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Remember that you did achieve join-up the first time, so you will definately be able to do it again. Your horse may also be surprised that you are talking to her in her language too ;-) How lucky she is.
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Hope it all works out for you, and that you keep us updated.
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Kind regards,
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Gen

lisantantoulis
Gen has made some great observations on how horses behave. The question that comes to my mind is when you attempted the second join up how many days apart were they? If you go back and do a second join up too soon you may confuse the horse. In her mind he just accepted you as the leader and she is following you like a puppy dog, which is what you want. If you do a join up again she my start thinking that she did something wrong and she is being punished, so she just stays with you. Once you have a good join up and the horse continues to stay focused on you and behave there is no reason to do another. When the relationship is not real strong after the first join up you do need to do more join ups to reinforce the relationship.
To my mind a join up is so that you can present a learning environment to your horse and that the horse understands that he is being taught to use their body and mind. Like people, horses do better if they have clear direction and join up is the first step. If you have a good join up try schooling your horse and challenge her to perform at a higher level. Horse love to learn. The old saying You can teach a horse a bad habit with just one lesson and with join up and the dually halter you can teach a horse a good habit with one lesson.

Cheers

I learn so much from this forum, little things that are easily overlooked. Thanks for the great posts guys!

Thank you so much everyone! I am so glad there is a place to ask these questions! I am also not a very agressive or assertve person, so my horses are teaching me a lot! I am an elementary school teacher and I am finding that my horses are making me a better teacher in the classroom too!

I may have tried it too soon, a couple of days apart, because as soon as i moved to get out of her pressure zone her nose was right at my shoulder. Then she stayed there moving any direction I went. Having said that, with this mare, you never can tell.... My other mare and the gelding always release, but with my black mare I always somehow get the feeling that she's got my number! Lol

I will leave it for a while and then try again in a few weeks! Thanks again!

Hi Lisatantoulis,
I think it is great that your horse is so intelligent to understand what you asked of her, good girl.
Please let me know what her reaction is next time you do join-up.
If she comes right to you and does not show any aggression towards you she already comes to you because she trusts you.
I was reading an email from Monty this morning and he said it is great to see a horse come to a human with no reserve. This shows that they trust us and feel safe with us.
Because you are so gentle your horse knows this and will respond in kind.
I am very gentle with animals and they respond in kind. Children feel safe around me and flock where I am, I feel I can be myself around animals and children.
You continue with your kindness and you will be rewarded for it, by your horses and the children.
Perhaps it's not your number she has but is picking up on your gentleness and wants to be with you.
Have a wonderful day with the kids and your horses,
Ronda