This is the last post from the Lost Soul, so here are my parting words of wisdom. Do to others as you want done unto you. Use this, not only with humans, but with all species, including horses. I once had a very wise religious person explain to me that love is sacrifice. If you love your horse what would you sacrifice for them? You might sacrifice money, and time, but what about your ambitions, dreams, goals, your current life, or maybe the life you could have? Where will you choose to draw the line? At one time in the not too distant past, I sacrificed time that I needed to rest after working 18 hours a day. My income does not support hiring a farrier, vet, or paying for expensive training materials, much less tack (such as saddles, more on that later), but somehow I always find a way to make do. I have literally put my life on hold for a horse, as I will not leave him behind or board him. It would be easy for me to simply walk away from the whole situation I am currently in, as Beamer is technically not my horse (yet). I have heard too many horror stories about boarding facilities to do that in good conscience, and besides, most stables would not take kindly to me visiting him at midnight every night, or requesting what he has always had, which is constant pasture, other than a few hours every day.

Give your horses a choice, and respect their decisions. There are times when they will say ‘no, I don’t want to do that,’ or ‘That scares me, I want to come back later’ and ‘That’s too much; I don’t understand’. I tried Join-up with Beamer, once upon a time, thinking I had found the solution. In reality, though, Join-up is not my answer, as I want to be a horse’s friend, not their dictator. I almost destroyed my relationship that I had, and Beamer too. Think about it, how are the steps of Join-up explained? They are explained as movements a predator makes, just read “From my hands to yours”. Join-up does not offer a horse a choice, it scares the living daylights out of them until they emotionally break down, desperate and crying (licking and chewing), begging that you won’t kill them and that they might come back to the “herd” (you).

There are a few reasons why a horse will not run from you when you attempt Join-up. First, they call your bluff; they know that you won’t hurt them and then ask themselves ‘Why should I run from you?’ This leads to finding some other terror to scare them with, such as plastic bags. Now they fear you, and beg for the end, whatever that will be. The other reason that comes to a horse’s mind ‘Forget this, if you are coming to kill me just do it, I don’t care anymore.’ This horse has given up. I have experienced this, and for those that love our horses, looking into their eyes, into their souls, and seeing that kind of surrender is devastating. That is the death of the soul. You will get results, but there will never be any enthusiasm behind those results. It is an empty victory for the human, and the emotional end of the horse.

There is no choice in this for your horse. They cannot leave you and leave the herd; they are confined when you attempt Join-up. It looks like a choice, it looks great from the outside, but it is a physiological nightmare that never ends and haunts your horse to the grave. The Join-up session ends, but the scars never fade. Every choice they make for the rest of your life always has this shadow over it “am I doing the right thing? Will I somehow be punished for doing this?”

Don’t get me wrong, this is better than some of the alternatives out there. I would much rather go through Join-up than to be tied down, sacked out, beaten with everything from whips to water pipes, and countless other horrors that are out there. Just keep this in the back of your mind the next time you look into your horse’s eyes.
I do not say this looking for sympathy, but to give a horrifyingly real example. I have chosen not to use this, as I have grown up in the same footprints as a horse in Join-up, and it is not a pleasant way to live. The easiest way they found to control me was to let this ominous cloud of doubt hang over me; it still does. This cloud, the idea that really bad things can happen if I disobey, is the exact same thing that Join-up puts over your horse. I grew up in a micromanaged environment, surrounded by people with control issues; humans that could not let their own species make decisions and live by the consequences, much less a horse. For the most part, I am used as a source of cheap labor. If they do not have a task for me, I am left to my own devices, so long as it does not inconvenience their access to my ability to work. I cannot remember the last time anyone offered to help me around here with anything I was struggling with. They still can’t stand it when I make a decision that they do not completely agree with. They do not act violently, but they are always disappointed, acting as if I just created a major inconvenience for them. This leads to desperate acts. I work with Beamer after midnight every night, as they cannot accept what I wish to do and how I wish to do it. Is this beginning to sound like a horse, one that develops bad habits, bucking, rearing, biting, cribbing, stall weaving, self mutilation, etc, as an act of rebellion or final desperate act of communication? One that is locked in a stall but for a few precious hours when they have the privilege of being at pasture, if they are lucky? This seems a real fair tradeoff. I will do the best I can for you, and in exchange we lock them in, basically, a prison cell. One that you only see with the intent on having them do something useful or pleasurable for you, instead of just going there to spend time as a friend? How different is it from what I am living? I know that I am not the only one out there living like this, but I seem to be the only one using this to my advantage. Far worse things could happen to me in my life, there is no denying it. Many people lead more painful and stressful lives than me, but do you enjoy it? Why force someone that cannot complain about it suffer through the same or worse than what we are experiencing? Think about it.

I have chosen to give him a choice and respect that choice. I know that Beamer will not pick his front hoofs up for my farrier, so I will have to learn to trim them myself. I will not force the issue with Beamer. I will respect his wishes. Only in life or death situations will I be pulling a lead rope tight again; never forcing him to confront a fear unless he feels that he is capable of facing that fear. I know what I would do to someone that tried to force me to face my fear of heights by dragging me repeatedly to a high location. I can only imagine the people out there protesting what I have said with “But what about…” To me, there is no exception. If Beamer bolts away from me and flees, then I messed up seriously because he did not trust me to protect him. If he resists what I am asking, either I am not presenting my directions clearly or he is not comfortable with doing it; I then return later and ask again.

On this note, I will never again ride with a bit and most likely never a bridle. I give much credit to those who strive to ride with 2 pound fishing line holding their reigns to a bit, but why stop there? In all honesty, I may never ride again. That remains to be seen, whether Beamer decides to permit it or not. But I will never again hold a taunt reign in my hands. I have resolved to work only from the ground until him and I can communicate well enough to not need such crude tools to produce results. The use of bits dates back to the Bronze age for goodness sakes. For all of the progress humans claim to have made, it seems very old school. For those who think that this is out of reach; rest easy, it is easier to achieve than you think, but it is in your hands. You have to learn the new language, and show your horse how you wish to communicate. This requires far more work for us, the humans, than it does for our horses. For those who think I am nuts, maybe I am, but I choose to enjoy my lack of sanity. For those who think I am wrong, maybe I am. Or maybe mainstream society is wrong and has been for a very long time. The reason it still remains is that it is easy to force a horse, it is easily taught, puts a human in total control, and requires little effort on the part of the human. Humans tend to fear what they cannot control completely, and often take the easy way out of a situation.

I am not interested in debating the correctness of my decisions here, either. It is the right thing to do because it is how I want him to treat me. I lash out at those who have tried to force an issue with me, oftentimes with the same or more force they attempt to use on me. Beamer punished me harshly for my past mistakes for quite some time, and I had a lot of teeth marks because of it, but both of us have moved on. I do not blame him for punishing me either. To say I treated him poorly is an understatement, and I deserved more than what he dished out. While on the subject of what I think is correct, for those that are interested, I do not believe in any form of equine competition either. If humans want to compete against humans, I don’t care, but I think it is wrong to drag your horse into it. They have no interest in your quest to prove something to another human, only in you proving yourself to them. Yes, some horses like to run and some like to jump, I am not arguing that. For those horses, encourage them to continue to do that; I just feel it wrong to push them to do it for personal gain, as that is what equine sports is. Sports exist to please the humans only, not the horses. For the person who tries to tell me differently, tell me how does the horse benefit? How does it make the horse healthier or happier by pushing them to their limits, and sometime beyond that? Earning ribbons, metals, trophies, and money do no such things. If you claim that it keeps your horse physically fit, why can this not be achieved by training? You don’t need to compete to work out.

By now you have realized that I place emphasis on looking your horse in the eye. I have never had a horse turn and leave me simply by making eye contact. Usually the result is quite the contrary; they approach me. Forget using eye contact only to send them away, use it to hold their attention and let them see your sincerity, and look to see theirs. Use this window into their soul to both talk to and listen to your horses.

Giving your horse a choice that you honor is not a bad thing. It does not teach them to get away with stuff, or create bad habits. I could sit here and give examples of my own and tell you the stories of others, but I would be wasting my time. If you have the courage to try it, the results will amaze you. If they do not pick up a foot right away, and you let their denial stand, come back and ask nicely again in a few minutes, or after they have moved to a different spot. They just might hand that same foot to you with you hardly having to ask. Try it. Once they realize that you honor and respect their choices, they will give you more than you can imagine, and the rest becomes history and the stuff of legends. Do what you think is right. Listen to your horses. Respect them and they will respect you. Just remember, respect does not involve punishment for making a decision that you disagree with.

I’m not trying to be offensive. I am trying to inspire thought and action. And to those out there right now screaming “slander!”, I live in the United States of America, and I exercise the freedom of speech, (in writing, speaking, and web posting), press, religion, and peaceful assembly. If it is still an issue, contact me at j.kuntz735@gmail.com and we can go from there.
That is all. Good luck, happy trails, say hi to your many horses around the world for me (and give them an apple, carrot or sugar cube), and may peace find you and your horses wherever you reside.
Sincerely,
Beamer and John Kuntz, aka the Lost Soul

Good on you Soul for having the courage to speak up about your journey with your horses taking this path. Our life with our horses is a constant journey of learning and we must be true to our beliefs and our horses needs and you have certainly done this. Yours is a path of kindness, love and caring for Beamer and he is a lucky horse. Best wishes always, Jan

Sounds a lot like this http://hauteecole.ru/en/news/

Good for you John, very few, and I mean very few people on this earth have the moral fiber or the backbone or the belief in their own convictions to state their views so honestly and succinctly.
Good luck on your life's journey.
Your friend
Paul