Actually upon reflection and study, I believe that I touched her too lightly. Now I don’t think I can prove this assumption but it seems plausible to me.

Hi Tara. She didn't want to eat you, she was warning you. Repeated advance & retreat. Either you moved too quickly or your touch was 'out of the blue' for her. Always gentleness on the face &, once you get there, vigorous firm rubbing on the withers, the sweet spot - but you have to be patient with this wild girl coz she has to have a choice. She's expressed her choice. She chose not to injure you, she warned you. Your job is to work with that cooperation to take the partnership forward. Cheers, Jo.

Oh Jo! That’s exactly right! Plus now she’s hanging out with me way longer than the others. The catch pen panels are in process. I think every day how much more I will be able to do once they are done. ... keep on keeping on til then.

Update...
Real fast, two sides of the catch pen will be up tonight, one side is. Also it’s in a location they are used to coming in to, so it’s progress however slowly. Wish I could post pictures.
I’m getting more relaxed around them, as they are around me and we have an almost regular routine of when they come for water in the mornings and evenings Mija, Mijo, and Mateo are regular visitors. Bonnie has been feeling rather standoffish to me but absolutely chose our son (16 years old) as her human. Just like Mijo did with me at that age! They are amazing creatures and I’m tickled to be able to see and learn from them.
Be well,
Tara

The word is middle of next week the catch pen will be useable! I wish I had more of a plan but for now I’m just keeping them wanting to come by. They’re curious but cautious and Mijo being acting stallion atm is more inclined to send them away than come over unless I have treats or feed for him.  I get to rub noses and that’s been about it for a week or so.

Hi Tara. In your Mijo post, when you said work was imminent to start & deliveries were due, I warned of heightened wariness because of new smells & sounds. With building work underway that's what you have. In your situation my plan would be to leave the pen open & habituate the herd to it in exactly the same way you habituated the herd to accepting your proximity & gradually your more personal attention. In this way you will avoid causing panic by shutting individuals away from the herd & damaging the trust you have established. Mijo will settle once he realises the pen isn't a threat & does not mean more herd members being removed or the necessary distress his being gelded caused. If you tread lightly, curb your enthusiasm & wait for them to come to you, voluntarily, you will strengthen their bonds with you. Cheers, Jo.

Good morning Jo, 

I have to tell you, I really drink in your words.... just so you know I really do listen and try to put into action what we talk about.  

They are so curious about everything, not fearful, more like a kid, “what’s that, and is it good to eat?” Even the pipes that lay on the ground, they want to smell, taste, paw, and then they finally lose interest. 

With two sides up, right now it’s like an extension of the existing fence they already accept.  Mijo seems to be cautious, but Mija has already figured it out that she can be on the opposite side and Mijo can’t snark her through the fence. That came last night when she came to be with me the others had all basically left, she came back. She hung out there a long time with me, I had a trail of carrots leading her to the exact same spot we always meet, just now there’s a big wooden fence there. She lets me stroke her face and as far as her bangs but I don’t often get invited past that. So when Mateo realizes she might be getting something they aren’t he alerts Mijo by starting to come back this way, both ended up over there, soon as they did... Mija bails to the other side of the fence away from them but nearest me. Mateo tried to reach over and bite her but she fended him off easily. You could just about see her smirk... I was laughing. 

The guys always say when they are working the horses will come up and see what they are doing and get attention. They end up shewing them off, we don’t need them around the work areas and of course they don’t get around the noisy things like chainsaws.

I think this pen in particular will be hers, at least at first because she seems more like she tries harder, and needs a place to get away from the boys. I’m told they (Mijo) runs her ragged, and she doesn’t like them close to her. This is apparent, she stays back from the herd, in the back and sometimes separate from them, doesn’t seem to bother her to stay at the fence long after they are out of sight.

I will leave it open absolutely and we’ll see how they sort it out for themselves, they are big panels and take time so it gives the horses plenty of chance to see it and acclimate as it’s going in.

It’s wonderful to watch them.
Enjoy,
Tara

Hi Tara. Perhaps more 'food for thought' than drink. I've been involved with race horses & eventers although never fully professionally, unless you count working in exchange for livery. I now have a herd of 4, 3 of whom are related. I've raised four youngsters, one from barely 6 months old, virtually unhandled & newly traumatised from being separated from her Mum three days before transporting to me. A second, from a two year old, delivered with teeth missing, a very sore face (possibly this colt had been kicked in the jaw) who had been unable/unwilling to eat for quite some time - body condition of a hat rack & mentally very withdrawn. The most recent pair have been with me from birth, Kirk born in a busy livery yard & who immediately became the focus of everyone's attention & Miss Moley who was born in the field & so had a quieter introduction to life. They are cheeky, inquisitive & love attention. Anything new is investigated. Kirk will try anything. Miss Moley will try anything on her terms - put any pressure on her & she resists, with every fibre of her being if you persist. Yet now, she loads me into the trailer! They communicate freely with me. Kirk had a grazing muzzle which he hated! First day was ok. Second day, much harder to put it on. Third day, basically I had to trick him to fit it so he followed me all the way back to the gate (about 150 yards) repeatedly knocking me over the head with it at virtually every step. Not an attempt to hurt me but a very clear communication of dissatisfaction with the situation. So I took the muzzle off & was rewarded with appreciative nuzzling. Limiting grass intake needed a rethink! For me, that's the whole point. Using my intelligence to meet their needs so that, in return, they are happy to freely indulge me in our joint endeavours. Humphrey allowing me to sit on his back whilst he was lying down in the field & Kirk, having seen his Dad do this, coming & inviting me to do the same with him only for his sister, having thought it through for a few days, to follow suit. How many youngsters invite their first rider? Well, mine did! Yes, of course training is the path to a working relationship where the horse does our bidding but I've found so much to enjoy & appreciate in that journey alone not to want to rush to the end goal. Cheers, Jo.

Update...
The catch pen isn’t done yet and we’re still meeting at the fence. I try to see them everyday a couple times but it doesn’t always work out. Just going to bide my time til the pen is done and then see how it works out. She let me touch her fringe yesterday a little and she didn’t mind the hand but she did try to bite it once. It lets me reach over where I can’t with my arm. Not going to push it but just try a bit. Then when she wants to go, she goes and it’s ok. She keeps coming back and that’s what I’m holding onto for now :)
Tara

Update... the catch pen is almost done and I was promised it would be finished soon. We are still meeting at the fence, now Mija knows that the catch pen (2 sides) she can go around and get away from the others. Too, yesterday she let me rub her face all over with the end of the long line. She was nosing it while on the fence so I unraveled the top loops and she let me rub her with it til Red started coming around. I feel so bad for her because of the others, when Marco was alive he and her chummed about and the others didn’t scare or run her like they do now. I don’t know how it will all work but I know it has to and I really do not want to see her get hurt again.
Tara

YaY! The catch pen is done and she lives it! Have not closed her in it yet but maybe today... but soon. Mijo went into it before it was done and he liked it too. None of the other horses have been in there, not worried about them at this moment. I’m thinking I just might shut the gate and let her enjoy some time with me and her, I won’t probably go in with her initially because I’m unsure of her reactions, but we’ll see how it goes and how comfortable she gets in there when the others move off. I think she’s probably not going to have any issues with it or if she does it will be for a few and she’ll calm back down... we’ll report on our progress in the next day or so. I’m very excited about this, I want it to be her choice but too I want to make it easy for her to chose the right thing.
Wish me luck!
Tara

***that was supposed to be “she loves it”... guess no way to go back and edit....lol

Hi Tara. If Mija is still somewhat on the outskirts of the herd she may well take to separation more easily. However, see if you can plan a way, at least for the first few times the gate closes on her, for that gate to safely spring open BEFORE her reaction reaches total panic. By closing her in quietly & calmly you would hope that she might restrain herself to raising her head carriage, snorting & trotting around. That would represent considerable acceptance on her part, especially if she then approached you at the fence & accepted some treats (can't/won't eat when panicking/worried). If you can get that much cooperation over even a few days then you & Mija are doing brilliantly. She will definitely be making choices & the onus is on you to gently, calmly & patiently help her to make the right ones. Best of luck to you all. Look forward to hearing how it goes. Cheers, Jo.

Hi Tara,
I've been following your endeavors with great interest. I don't have any advice or some such for you, but I want you to know that I am rooting for you. :) 
Best of luck with the catch pen! 
Ps. A famous Swedish alpine skier (Ingemar Stenmark) once commented on his "luck" to a reporter: "It's weird, but I find that the more I practice, the more luck I have." ;) ;) ;)

....so I closed the gate.... very softly, she didn’t even so much as raise her head. She never got her pulse up at all the entire time, I did a little and had to breathe down at first just cause it’s so exciting to see her reactions or as the case may be... lack of reactions.  Funny how they can really talk without words. I had the dually halter over the middle post and she picked it up in her mouth and of course I took it, no no she gave it to me. I didn’t yet try to put her in it, but she knows what it is. She wore one briefly one time before in her life when we transported her here. That was a plain harness not a dually, but they are essentially the same without the additional straps. So she’s not afraid of it at all. During this time the other horses were still about and wouldn’t you know they didn’t want to readily go away. Nevertheless they already got their treats and I tried to send Mijo and Mateo away at the double gate but they were slow, Mijo goes when he realizes I’m serious but Mateo... nope. Finally after cats claws and big bird wings from me with eyes on eyes and shoulders square he takes two steps away and stays. I’m like ok...go get the long lines, think these thirty foot not sure, Monty’s long lines, one of them...anyway, I get big and square and wide eyes on eyes and had his attention, pitched the long line right to him... over this side of his body and drops at his feet.... he didn’t so much as flinch! I’m pulling the line back in to go for a better and he sees the end and starts chasing it, bites it! Then he drops it, family on the porch was laughing, me too! He’s cute, not a flinch, but then Mijo was like, ok let’s go, so he went to follow him and Bonnie who already moved off and Red was out in the valley already. I let Mija stay about twenty minutes, got good scratches on her withers and she let me, her face seems more sensitive, I took pressure off then, she let me scratch her again on the shoulder, pulled a couple spines out of her face. I’m sure they don’t feel good. She got comfortable really and in the middle while I was in my chair, scratching her leg. There was a bit of work going on, I gave her a mint for being so good, but she had t to find it in the trough. Our Son almost got to pet her as she reached out to him over the fence with her nose, he was removing the last fence pipes out of the orchard where my feet were going. So I gave her pieces of carrots in her trough and as she was distracted I snuck out and opened the gate. She didn’t care, and stayed a good ten minutes after that, went out and in again twice more! Without the gate being shut. Her choice to stay and play but, finally she wanted to go find her friends and as she was leaving stopped at the corner of the orchard and let me pet her goodbye and I was tickled! Superstar!

Hi Tara. ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS! And the even better part is - Mija is teaching the other horses. They watch & monitor her reactions to you in that enclosed space & believe it, they are taking it all in. Obviously, they won't be 'trained' when it comes to their turn but they will draw on Mijas experiences & if you continue to do such a good job with her it will immensely help them cope - always assuming whoever is dealing with them takes a similarly understanding stance. A word of caution here - learn to read your horse. Outside influences can make huge, very short term changes to how your horse reacts so, just because something was perfectly ok today doesn't mean it will necessarily be the case tomorrow. Always start with the easy, readily acceptable stuff, backtracking previous successes. For instance, if the weather has been windy or stormy since your last session your horse may be stressed ( difficulties monitoring possible predators in the area ). Be mindful that a normally cooperative individual has a life & stresses not directly human related. If you get some unusual negativity, be 'big' enough to ask for something really minimal, praise hugely & call it a day. Your next session will prove the wisdom of this - when your horse shows their appreciation by greater willingness. In short, backing off is NOT giving in. So, HUGE RESPECT for what you have achieved & please, keep the updates coming. Mija is proving to be SUPERSTAR indeed. Cheers, Jo.

Tonight she did great again, I kept her a little longer but no reaction to being closed in at all. The others moved off and she was fine with it. I rubbed the long line on her and she let me. I learned to tie a bowline today by re-watching the Uni video on first touch and halter, it has detailed instructions so I practice til I cannot get it wrong. I didn’t try to use it yet, we’re going super slow so later it’s really not. At any length, she let me rub her withers with the hand cause I cannot reach that.far over the fence. She let me rub her face and neck with the long line so then whenever she’d move away I would go sit in my chair and whenever she came back I went over and gave her attention and love. After a few times she looked like oh wonder where those guys went. She whinnies for them. I distracted her with that final treat and went out and ever so calmly and quietly opened the gate and she saw and came to the double gates and paused for me to get them latched behind me and let me pet her goodbye and she moved off in the direction the herd went just slowly grazing her way as I made my way back across the orchard...
A blissful day....
Woot!
Tara

Hi Kicki and thanks for being in my corner!

Oh Jo... I am amazed at all this, this morning has been great we have the added influence of our older kids coming to stay, 20’ish husband and wife, he is going to spot for me, be my first assistant. He learned the bowline yesterday with us. Mijo was in this morning so I closed the gate softly just like with her. He was mostly fine head high, but that’s his personality and role in the herd. He wasn’t really worried about it, he loves attention and was liking it. I got good rubs on his withers, neck, face, withers. Pretty soon he said he didn’t want the herd to get too far away so I distracted him with my last apple in the trough and snuck out and opened the gate. He ate his apple and when he turned saw the gate opened... he just slowly went out, didn’t say bye like his sister does but that’s ok, he’s right on target! Two Superstars!
One thing I have noted last night and this morning is they have prickly pear spines in various places, we pull them but, sometimes we can’t get close enough to pull them, if we’re going to harness them and more we’re going to have to be ultra sure there aren’t any spines. My plan is to work til I can get the long line comfortable around the other side of Mija’s neck and if we have to I’ll break out grandpas cane to pull it over and do a bowline see if we can get her comfortable and check her face over try to get her really comfortable with it and then work the harness rub her with it while we have the bowline tied. If she gets uncomfortable at all we’ll back off and give her plenty of time. I might call it right then and back the pressure off completely... go sit in the chair perhaps give her a treat, let her relax and when she comes over again we might do it again and if she gets uncomfortable we’ll take pressure off. If she stays comfortable well... see how we do ...lol
Practicing the bowline til I can’t get it wrong...
Tara

Hi Tara. Great that you've got help. See, horses learn from each other. Mijo see Mija is calm about the pen & follows the example, albeit in his own way. I think you've pull thorns from Mija already. Try putting a little salve on her too - Miss Moley cut across her chest as a real baby but despite not usually letting me handle her she stood with her Mum & let me bathe it with saline & apply Vaseline (petroleum jelly) to her wound. It left no scar. That was the first time she showed real trust in me. If Mija comes to regard you as her problem solver as well as leader, you will have made yet another great advance. Cheers, Jo.

Woot! I got the bowline on her tonight... we pulled the last two spines I could see in her face and rubbed it out. Rubbed the harness all over her, didn’t drop it on the off side yet, just couldn’t quite get her comfortable enough for that. When she seemed to get tense I took the bowline off and pulled the long line off very gently, she didn’t so much as start. Letting us all pet her face and scratch her withers with our hands now. I couldn’t reach at one point and picked up the arm to scratch her and she wanted to bite it. That was kinda funny cause she doesn’t seem to mind it too much. Oh and we put a tub in there for water for her now. We let her go shortly after I took the long line off and since I was at the fron my Son opened the gate. She turned and went out a bit faster than before but still just calmly walked out, right by him standing there. If it were Mijo, I’m sure he would have trotted out, I think that rank in the herd dynamics is allowing her that calmness that he probably doesn’t have, but I’m tickled with this progress! We got nothing but time for her and no reason to rush her at all.
I posted some pictures on the Medicine Hat Mijo page on Facebook. We took some pictures with the good camera and hopefully I can process them soon.
This is all pretty amazing. My hope is to get the harness on her tomorrow but not a problem if we don’t but she’s learning in leaps and bounds. She knows it’s her place, and the others seem to accept that too.
I’m jazzed!
Tara

Last night we backed off a lot, situational reasons. The wind, the family up the canyon were going to feed and when I kept her all I did was rub the long lines on her and scratch her withers with my hand and let her go. She was not getting comfortable and I didn’t want her to miss her sweet feed up the way. I was a little disappointed but not worried about it. Should I try to go in with her next time and harness her or try from the outside like I have been?

Hi Tara. I'd say first 'read her'. Windy conditions stress horses & she may take a day to calm down. If she seems comfortable with you then, yes, be in the pen with her BUT whether or not to take matters any further at this point is entirely up to your reading of Mija when she meets you without a fence. Perhaps just greet & treat for the first time, at least. She maybe quite comfortable with your advances to her but you will loose nothing but a little time if you have a simple longline in your hand which, if she's willing, you can pass over her neck & grip loosely but not tie. Mija is building a great bond with you but by being really incremental now you may avoid a serious setback. Good luck. Cheers, Jo.

Jo... you’re my hero! Thanks! Will try.

Quick update...
Rain, rain, rain... got to see them for a minute the other day, Mija went in but I didn’t close the gate because of the weather. Finally should let up tomorrow hopefully and start drying out a bit. I don’t want her to lose her progress! Still, we needed this rain so no real complaint there.
Tara

Hi Tara. Yeah, we badly need the rain we've been having recently too - but it does restrict what can be done with outdoor living partners. Don't be too concerned about Mija backsliding. She has shown real flair for this bonding with the human lark. However, in the interest of her safety & yours, I would suggest that your return to regular interaction by revisiting her comfort zone, with the fence between you. After all, she may see that fence as there for her protection from you even more than you regard it as a defence for you from any outburst she may have! Reinforcing behaviour is always a short term delay which serves to cement progress previously made. Looking forward to your update. Cheers, Jo.

Hi hi,
Yes I went back to where she was comfortable, the herd didn’t move off like they had done before, i didn’t keep her long, she was restless. That was day before yesterday, and yesterday I kept her a bit longer but the herd seems reluctant to leave her now, I barely got to scratch back as far as her withers. Unfortunately now I’m not going to be able to work with her anymore as my situation has changed. I’ll never stop loving her and I will always pray that whenever and whoever works with her in the future does so violence-free, she deserves nothing less.
On a side note, Medicine Hat Mijo is now for sale, if any might be interested in him, he’s a superstar and will make someone a great willing partner someday, contact me at tara4truth @gmail.com.
I will always believe in Monty and violence free techniques with animals and people.
Thank you all for your help and support.
All the best to everyone,
Tara

Hi Tara. So sorry to hear of your changed circumstances making it no longer possible for you to continue working with the horses - sad news. I hope you find a suitable home for Mijo & that Mija & the rest of the herd find asafe  & secure future. Cheers, Jo.

Yes, indeed sad, heartbreaking truthfully. I have cried much, pleaded, done my best. I witnessed something I cannot understand nor witness again and it’s caused a lot of anguish within me. The grandpa brings the horses ...all of them into his yard every other day, or more, and feeds them sweet feed. I had an opportunity to go up there during one of these times, when they were done eating and started to wander about, seeing me they all wanted to come to the fence where I was. Mija first, I got to pet her a bit, then Just as Mijo started to come over the grandpa told his wife...”run them out” and before I could say or do anything, kinda stood there dumbfounded as both he and her picked up buggy whips and did just that... scared the herd out with them. I walked away, I cannot win this battle, I can’t fight them, I can’t teach them there is a better way... I’ve tried for two plus years. I’m told “oh they don’t hit them with the whips” but I’m not believing that! Those horses were indeed afraid of them, which says they’ve felt that sting before. I tried to protest that there is a better way, then failing that I tried to say, just tell grandpa not to feed our three, that too did not go over. So I found my limit, and I cannot convince them, I can’t go on knowing this is going on. There’s much more I don’t think I can post here, but yes, I’m heartbroken over it all. I love my pony, more than I’ve ever loved a horse before and he’s so special, they all are. Because I’m not in a position to remove him myself, lack of funds, trailer, etc. I feel for his sake it’s best to sell him. Hopefully to someone who believes like we do in violence free horsemanship. I have no control over what happens to any of the others but Mijo, and I love him enough to let him go. If anyone knows anything else I can do, please post or email me. I’m just beside myself with all this and I’m feeling for his sake, selling him would be the best thing.
Best regards,
Tara

Hi Tara. I fully understand how you feel. However, if you know Montys life story you will know that all his life he's pressed against exactly this type of situation. I'm assuming grandpa & his wife have been doing this to these horses throughout your association with them - so the amazing trust the horses have shown you is DESPITE their treatment you've now witnessed. Please take a minute to process how huge that is for 'mere' animals, - to be so much more open minded than their human counterparts. Yes, it is sad that, in the 21st century, there are factions who still fail to grasp how inappropriate this sort of violent behaviour is - but it is said " It only takes one good person to do nothing for evil to prevail ". You have tried to educate people who, clearly, are not yet ready for complete change & your failure in this effort is shaping your decision making. Mijo & Mija need you to gather yourself &, in the light of the massive effort they have made, take heart & do not abandon them. Remember, you have the support of this forum as well as your family & these horses. It is likely that grandpa & his wife do not now inflict pain & perhaps that is progress down to your efforts. As heartbreaking as you may find the practice, if you walk away then you condone it - by virtue of failure to continue to oppose it.  Cheers, Jo.

Trust me Jo, this is not been an easy decision. The people have made it so uncomfortable for me to even return to the ranch to see the horses. I’ve agonized over it all greatly, many tears and much prayer to try to find the right path forward. For Mijo I have some...little control, I can remove him, sell him. For Mija she’s not mine, she should be... but she’s not. I tried to go out there the other day and one of the people thought she would show me up by walking out to the herd in the field while I had Mija in the pen.... she walked up fast in flip flops no less and a light (see through) dress...to Mijo and Mateo as they were playing. When she went to pet him (Mijo) he jerked his head away from her and spun about. I really thought she was going to get kicked! He was again a superstar and didn’t kick her though I’m sure she too thought he would.... I’m sure it scared her and if it didn’t she’s dumber than than I gave her credit for. At any rate, safety first and that was not safe! I don’t want anyone getting hurt to somehow “prove” something... I’m sure you understand that. This girl is going to get herself, the horses, or someone else injured if she keeps up. She thinks she has a special “bond” with Mateo... though she’s only been out there a couple weeks. I’ve gave them my copy of From my Hand to Yours, hoping they will read it and learn, but to my knowledge they have not. I just cannot see a happy outcome. If you can tell me what to do or how to make a bad situation better I’ll do anything you tell me, as I have up to now! I don’t want to abandon them! That makes me cry. I love them, and I love the people no matter how they treat me, but I’ve got to cut my losses. The pain of it all is too great to keep going like this.
Tara 

Hi Tara. Firstly, you own a horse that lives on the ranch so you have EVERY RIGHT to visit. The best way to lead is by example. If others want to ignore safety that is their right to do so. Monty has suffered everything from mockery & condemnation to death threats. He's even had to hide out in the hills. His own father poured out nothing but cruel negativity & violence on him. Try to visit with at least one other of your family there (moral support), smile (you love to be with horses) & remember all these horses regard you as being a DIFFERENT TYPE OF HUMAN. Focus on being positive with & for Mijo. Be soft, but not weak. If the humans are negative then do not court their attention. Acknowledge their presence & leave it at that. A thought for you. The scene you witnessed is a daily or common occurrence, yes? So, all the horses know what is going to happen yet still they voluntarily come for food. But terrified horses can't eat. You need to come to terms with the truth of the situation. The horses have accepted the necessity of being driven away in exchange for the sweet feed, yet when you come to them, in completely different circumstances, they offer you trust. That speaks VOLUMES. On the positive side, at least now you know there is a reason for all these horses to be sceptical of humans so you can modify your aspirations/time scales accordingly. You WILL succeed but it will take longer/more patience & effort. However, that process may well inspire others to start to rethink their methods. By the way, having your foot stood on when wearing leather boots without toe caps will result in much bruising & soreness (I speak from experience having had a toenail wrenched from its roots) but barefooted (or in flip flops) just adds blood loss & open wounds likely to need stitches & antibiotics! I'd keep the paramedics on speed dial! Be strong for your love of horses. Your children no doubt caused you much pain, worry & heartache but that was all worth it. Well, sorry, life requires you to step up again - for the unconditional love of horses. It has taken me 8 years to finally get a class at our annual show where riders are not allowed whips & spurs - a British Horse Society affliliated riding club show. I've been on the committee since 1983 & I doubt I'm really respected by the up & coming set. Nevertheless, I continue to strive, a lone voice who will prevail. Cheers, Jo.

Jo, you never cease to amaze me with your insight and advice! Thank you! Truly, I don’t know where I would be right now if I didn’t have you in my corner answering my posts! So my significant other has told his dad not to bring our three into his yard to feed, he can feed them outside the yard. Not sure if GP will listen but, I can have hope. I raised the price of Mijo to $5k thinking no one will likely want to pay that around here for an unstarted horse... I could be wrong. Still I did have a chance to go out there today, we sold the old buckboard, I had to get money to just keep going. Plus it was a project and anyway, I sold it to a friend for less than I should have... nevertheless I saw him, called out, he raised his head and when I got out he started to come over...and got distracted. We were pressed for time, so I couldn’t stay and play but I know in my heart of hearts this boy chose me, and Mija too. I love them so much. I’m going to find a way through this, I’m just not tolerant of twenty year old games... I moved into town because of that and more reasons.  Still you can see things so clearly I am keeping hope and faith that I will be able to work with them again. They don’t respond to anyone else like they do me... oh and the rumor mill flies, now I’m the crazy horse lady who talks and hears the horses talk back...like Mr Ed! Really! So funny because anyone who knows me truthfully knows that yeah I’m probably a little crazy but I hear them loud and clear without need for words!
We got nowhere to go but up!
Tara

Hi Tara. I just look at what you describe, from some 5000 miles away here in Scotland & because I'm not emotionally involved I can see situations a bit clearer. Clearly you CARE about the horses. Grandpa uses his effective tool to clear the herd efficiently so he can close the gate on an empty pen after feeding. The gate can't be left swinging, that's unsafe - for the horses & the gate. Older people ( I'm progressing that way ) are less agile. A herd of mostly part wild horses in an enclosure is a dangerous place. I'm guessing the horses come for the feed & are not physically rounded up & penned in. The horses choose to come for the food. In the wild there is no reason for various levels of flight. When you need to flee you BOLT. It's an instinctive reaction. It is the life saving, all inclusive 100% response  that horses use to survive. What you didn't tell me was, once outside the pen how far did they run. I'd bet it wasn't far away before they stopped running. GP & the horses seem to have an agreed routine at feeding time. OK, it would be nicer if he blew a whistle & they all walked out calmly. Walking away, calmly on que, is a learned response. I can see no safe, kind way to feed the herd minus your horses - to be fed elsewhere, at least at this point in training. FOCUS ON YOUR SUCCESS TO DATE. This was achieved whilst the horses were also experiencing the feeding routine. I'd bite the bullet, accept the necessary evil as the horses have done & continue to give the horses the compensation of  your love & respect. You were probably right, these horses may well have been rounded up & herded in a brutal & painful way. They will never forget such treatment BUT the behaviour you have been describing, in both your Mijo & Mija posts, is of horses willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, leading to mutual respect. Cheers, Jo.

Hi Tara and Jo;
I have read what  has been written up to this point and have given it some thought over the last few days.  Obviously, this is probably affecting your family Tara, but it sounds like your husband has stood his ground when it comes to your horses.
My advice to you is to continue to show up at the ranch to support your horses as Jo has suggested you do.  Do not give up for their sake and also for your family`s sake.   However, in the course of showing up at the ranch, do your best to keep the dialogue going between you and the grand folks.  Remember, silence is a killer of relationships    Somehow, someway , you need to communicate how much you LOVE THESE HORSES and that you want more than anything for your horses to be MORE than just running them in to feed them once a day.  Share with them that  your overall aim is to  connect with the horses in that very special way that only dreams are made of.  And tell them, if this sounds crazy, then your guilty because you believe with ALL YOUR HEART that you can gentle these horses with your methods..  You must be convincing.  So Work on your preparation for such an exchange with the old folks, but try to keep the LOVE IN  YOUR HEART for the grand folks.  The more that you prepare for this moment, the more confidence that that will be behind the words spoken when the time comes.  Do not allow this situation to go on, because nobody wins; especially the horses.  If Jo can feel the tension 4000 mile away, it probably is much heavier up here in Wash. St. 

Just remember Tara, if people describe you as being a little crazy, that`s a GOOD THING, because it affords you lots of latitude for your behavior.  Ha Ha…

Do your thing girl,
Bud

Hi All,
Jo, Bud... 
You are both right! So right! Bud that made me laugh! I ended up going out this morning. I actually kept Mija longer than I have before, actually got a bit of a trot around looking for the herd as they started to move off, that was a first...
Then it happened again, daughter in-law goes out there into the field despite my significant other and I both tried to pause her... she wasn’t listening to us and gets the herd right back where I didn’t want them. So I kinda lost it and long story short ended up letting Mija back out after only getting a bit of rubs on her and some quality fence time. 
We ended up pow-wow with the kids. I said what I had to say, as did we all, not the grand folks, just us and the kids. I the outcome I’ve no hope whatsoever with any kind of resolution with the kids or the grands at this point. 
I did however make my point to the kids and hope that something sunk in. My significant other is more than skeptical about the situation but the grands have been asked not to feed our three in their yard. Hopefully they will respect our wishes. 
The kids, I dunno if a single thing sunk in... time will tell. Taking tomorrow off for church and I’ll try again with luck on Monday. I’m going to keep trying, it’s my ranch too... you both have given me hope for it. 
The horses have said they need me. Mija was in the corral before I even made it to the orchard! She is so willing to cooperate, I know she’s going to be an awesome partner, I know too she’s not let anyone but me get this close to her.  Mijo doesn’t understand why I’m not working with him, but his rank in the herd isn’t making that real possible atm, it will come in time.

Thank you both so much for the confidence boost!
Will update again soon.
Tara