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My Join-Up® Experience

A big step forward!

Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed
Hi all, 
first time I post here, but have to share my success story! I'm so excited!

I started about two years ago, have done a short Intro course with Kirsty Jenkins and did the Introduction course (not done the exams yet). I have been reading, watching, learning, studying...  played with my friend's horses as often as possible. My results were ok, I love the Dually halter and would never go back.

BUT... a lot of things did not work! Horses are still running away in the pasture, not standing still and the Join-Up... oh well. It worked well with Kirsty by my side, but all alone on the farm? It is just a little different. We don't have a round-pen, which is not a problem, I just have to run faster and predict the horse's next move really well. And I do need the excercise! 
However I started encountering situations that were not discribed in the books or videos: What if the horse jumps out of the arena? 
Well, Rosa did! And she was gone... ran to the other side of the field! Left me standing there by myself in the sand! I thought "What would Monty do?" I grabbed the halter and line and follow her, in the hot African sun. I was Monty and Roza my mustang, it was probably very funny to watch, but I got her attention! After some back and forth, she eventually stopped and I could put the halter on.

Since then I did not try any more attempts to do a Join Up in the arena. Too scared it would go wrong again.
One day I could not ride Roza, who had a little wound in the girth area and decided to play around with one of the other horses.
My victim was Panda, Roza's beautiful pinto mother and alpha mare of the little herd. She is very dominant and even when training with Kirsty, she was always very reluctant to join up.

Here is where my actual story starts...

I choose Panda, because she needed some Dually training, she can be very skittish on trail rides resulting in rather challenging side jumps and sliding stops.

My mind was not clear, I felt distracted by thoughts and insecurities about what the best way of starting the session would be. 
My final thought was, I do not get around the Join-Up in the arena! I cannot desensitize a horse that does not trust me. Neither of us was happy about my decision, I was scared of failure and making things worse and well, of course Panda picked up my adrenalin and was very wary of my moves.

'Focus! I know how to do this!', I told myself. While turning her in all directions and rubbing her forehead, I tried not get tangled in the long line and used a basic breathing excercise to calm myself. In...hold 10 seconds... out... hold 10 seconds. We walked to the side of the arena, and I tried to remember what Kirsty told us, unhook and step back! Whoohaa, and Panda bolted off! And so did Jasper, our farm dog. Now I had Panda bucking like a rodeo horse, Jasper barking and running after her in order to protect me. He alarmed Henry, the Ridgeback. farm dog number two. Panda kicked after them while I tried my best moves and shouting at the dogs... Great! I had two options, interrupt the session, lock up the dogs and try again or...

I can't remember what happened in the next minute, but the dogs gave up (they are not very fit) and Panda did some really spectacular turns, I used all my energy and the long line to turn her around and move her through the corners of the arena. What a beautiful sight, her tail was up and her stride long and almost bouncy. The long line dropped out of my hand, and I tried again my magic breathing expertise to relax and get as the calm as a human being can get. Then I saw her ear turning in towards me, the circle around me became smaller, and she dropped a her head a tiny little! Now or never, I thought and I turned away from Panda. I did not dare to look back, standing there just breathing. When I felt I had more control over myself, I turned around. Panda stood still about two metres away from me, she had an almost friendly look in her face. I turned a little further and she made a step towards me! And another step! Licking and chewing! I walked towards her, rubbed her forehead and turned around again. 'Walk like a leader!', I thought. Panda followed me! I could not believe it! We did the figure of eight without stopping, I was now officially the happiest person on the entire planet! 
If you have done a Join-Up yourself, you will never forget the feeling... The absolute trust, the horse shows afterwards, like it's all not their business anymore. They handed over responsibilities and tiny human is in charge now, if tiny human is relaxed so am I. 
I lifted all hooves, rubbed back and belly. Panda stood there like a statue, hears low, eyes almost closing and lower lip relaxed and floppy. I gave her some time off... but she still did not move, just yawned a few times. 

The little obstacle course was a complete waste of time for her, walking over a plastic tarpaulin made her yawn, backwards, forwards... booring, so I left it at that and took her back to her crowd.

So this was it, my complete breakthrough! Not that I think I'm great and I think it all worked because I am especially gifted. No, it worked because Panda decided she wanted to follow me, and she asked me if this would be ok. In a most distracting environment this horses made a decision and showed her natural behaviour, I just had to reply and take over!

It showed me that anyone can do it with any horse. We just need to learn more and try harder and try again and again!






Miriam (Holland&Germany)
Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed 200 lessons completed 250 lessons completed 300 lessons completed 350 lessons completed 400 lessons completed 450 lessons completed 500 lessons completed 550 lessons completed 600 lessons completed 650 lessons completed
Hi Caro,
Congratulations to your good work with Panda and.... welcome to the Forum!
You're lucky to have had Kirsty Jenkins as a Certified Instructor and remembering the essential lessons she gave you as a road map! Basically we're all on our own, when in the arena with our horses, but having these lessons to help us learn more and more are so helpful! For all of us it's a long journey, with hights and lows, but that's the only way to learn. From our own mistakes and training our muscle memory. Breathing right is the most helpful tool, not only with horses...Distress is never good, in all parts of life.
Good luck with your horses and have fun!
Please keep us posted,
Miriam
a.rumble
Please upload your photo 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed 200 lessons completed 250 lessons completed 300 lessons completed 350 lessons completed 400 lessons completed 450 lessons completed 500 lessons completed 550 lessons completed
Awesome job Caro!! Yes, it certainly is exciting when you see what you are able to do with all these lessons. When I felt that for the first time I too was awe struck.Monty is the best leader I have ever seen. I have seen quite a few!! We learn sooooo much helping them learn. Miriam is so right about breathing properly being a great tool and not only for horses.I have been singing for years now in church and learnt how to breath,once you learn that, it is usually a piece of cake. I thank -you so much for sharing your good news,and may Panda & yourself have great fun learning together.
Kicki -- Sweden
Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed 200 lessons completed 250 lessons completed 300 lessons completed 350 lessons completed 400 lessons completed 450 lessons completed 500 lessons completed 550 lessons completed 600 lessons completed
Fantastic, Caro! Your story put a huge smile on my face. 
Goes to show how important it is for us to be calm and focused for the horses to decide to follow us. We can all learn from that.
Seems to me Panda was sooo relieved to finally be able to give up the responsibility of being the leader. Best of luck in your future work together! (Although, luck has very little to do with it.) ;) 
bahila73
Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed 200 lessons completed 250 lessons completed 300 lessons completed 350 lessons completed 400 lessons completed 450 lessons completed 500 lessons completed 550 lessons completed 600 lessons completed
Hello Caro and welcome to the forum.  Thank you for sharing your story with us because you bring to mind the memory of just how gratifying the JOIN-UP EXERCISE can be for us when It all comes together.  CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!  Deep breathing and confidence will be your greatest ally.

The one thing that I would suggest however, is for you to take a look at what might help your horses in the future is the aspect of having your dogs free to be in and out of the training area.  Remember, dogs are predators and especially if there is more than one of them.  Just the mere aspect of one of them barking can spark something very primal within the other dog.  If that instinct would erupt, it could  become a problem, as I think it did, in your description above. You would be confronted  with a flight or fight situation for your horse to deal with.  That , of course, wouldn`t lead to best scenario for the horse to LEARN  about your leadership and join-up.  I am ALWAYS careful about having dogs in the area when training horses because sometimes the horse trainer cannot control all aspects of nature.  So, I shape the playing field for a positive learning environment.

`Hope this helps you for future training sessions.

Bud 
Debbie Roberts Loucks, USA
Hello! 2014 Cyberhunt winner 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed 200 lessons completed 250 lessons completed 300 lessons completed 350 lessons completed 400 lessons completed 450 lessons completed 500 lessons completed 550 lessons completed 600 lessons completed 650 lessons completed
Hi Caro, I echo the group with the 'well done' !!
So proud of your determination to keep trying. That may be all horses ask us to do, try to be fair and understand. 
I hope you will stay in touch with Kirsty Jenkins, a fine teacher, and set your sights on taking the Introductory Course exams next. 
Cheers, 
Debbie
valaurie.wettstein
Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed 200 lessons completed 250 lessons completed
Hi Caro,

I just read through your story with Panda and what an  accomplishmentt you made, wow. I am happy for the both of you and wish you all the best for the future, keep up that great partnership :-)

Take care,
Valaurie